Episode's summary
How does childhood trauma fuel adult addiction? Broadcaster, actor and former Strictly Come Dancing champion Ore Oduba joins psychotherapist Julia Samuel to discuss his 30-year struggle with pornography addiction, childhood trauma, shame and the journey towards mental health recovery. Growing up in a strict Nigerian household, Ore learnt that achievement and obedience were closely tied to acceptance. After being exposed to pornography at just nine years old, he developed a dependency that followed him into adulthood. What began as a secret source of comfort became a cycle of addiction, shame and self-loathing that affected his mental health, relationships and sense of identity. Ore opens up about the breakdown of relationships, reaching a point where he questioned whether he wanted to carry on living, and how therapy helped him understand the connection between childhood experiences and addictive behaviour. He also reflects on his complicated relationship with his father, whose death in 2023 brought an…
How does childhood trauma fuel adult addiction? Broadcaster, actor and former Strictly Come Dancing champion Ore Oduba joins psychotherapist Julia Samuel to discuss his 30-year struggle with pornography addiction, childhood trauma, shame and the journey towards mental health recovery. Growing up in a strict Nigerian household, Ore learnt that achievement and obedience were closely tied to acceptance. After being exposed to pornography at just nine years old, he developed a dependency that followed him into adulthood. What began as a secret source of comfort became a cycle of addiction, shame and self-loathing that affected his mental health, relationships and sense of identity. Ore opens up about the breakdown of relationships, reaching a point where he questioned whether he wanted to carry on living, and how therapy helped him understand the connection between childhood experiences and addictive behaviour. He also reflects on his complicated relationship with his father, whose death in 2023 brought an…
Episodes
Ore Oduba on hiding his addiction: “I lived my entire life in fear”
ListenedHow does childhood trauma fuel adult addiction? Broadcaster, actor and former Strictly Come Dancing champion Ore Oduba joins psychotherapist Julia Samuel to discuss his 30-year struggle with pornography addiction, childhood trauma, shame and the journey towards mental health recovery. Growing up in a strict Nigerian household, Ore learnt that achievement and obedience were closely tied to acceptance. After being exposed to pornography at just nine years old, he developed a dependency that followed him into adulthood. What began as a secret source of comfort became a cycle of addiction, shame and self-loathing that affected his mental health, relationships and sense of identity. Ore opens up about the breakdown of relationships, reaching a point where he questioned whether he wanted to carry on living, and how therapy helped him understand the connection between childhood experiences and addictive behaviour. He also reflects on his complicated relationship with his father, whose death in 2023 brought an…
My adult sons are estranged. Should I intervene? | Agony Aunties
ListenedThis week’s listener is heartbroken by sibling estrangement. Psychotherapist Julia Samuel and her daughters Sophie and Emily explore the pain it causes, why family conflicts can be so difficult to repair and the challenges of parenting adult children when you can no longer influence their decisions. The listener’s two adult sons, once incredibly close, have stopped speaking to each other following a family fallout. What began as unresolved tensions from their younger years escalated when their partners fell out, leaving the brothers locked in sibling estrangement for over a year. Although she still has a loving relationship with both sons, she is processing grief for the family they once were and wonders whether she should step in to help them reconcile or leave them to work things out themselves. The Agony Aunties discuss the risks of taking sides, the necessity of creating healthy boundaries, the importance of allowing time for reconciliation, and how parents can support their children’s emotional healing…
The hidden grief of baby loss and TFMR
ListenedTo mark Baby Loss Awareness Week, author and former teacher Rosanna Brown joins Julia Samuel to share the story of her son William and her experience of termination for medical reasons (TFMR). Rosanna was approaching 24 weeks pregnant when she and her husband learnt that William had a condition incompatible with life. She speaks candidly about the trauma of ending a much-wanted pregnancy, the medical procedure itself and the words from a midwife that helped her begin to reframe what had happened: “You didn't choose, you consented to medical advice.” Rosanna and Julia explore the often hidden grief surrounding TFMR and baby loss, the difference between grief and trauma, and why Rosanna struggled to feel entitled to mourn her son. They also discuss how couples can grieve differently, the role talking therapy played in her recovery and how she and her husband found ways to remember William together. Rosanna also reflects on pregnancy after loss, becoming a mother again and why another baby can bring enormous…
My family doesn’t believe my ADHD diagnosis. What Do I Do? | Agony Aunties
ListenedThis week’s listener has recently been diagnosed with ADHD after a lifetime of struggling with strong emotions and impulsivity. While the diagnosis has brought her and her husband a huge sense of relief, understanding and emotional healing, her mother and sisters refuse to accept it, believing her successful career and relationship mean she couldn’t possibly have ADHD. Julia, Sophie and Emily explore what happens when a new diagnosis challenges long-held family roles, why we can so quickly revert to childhood dynamics and how reparenting supports personal growth. They discuss setting boundaries when family members see things differently, learning to tolerate different versions of the same family story, navigating family expectations, and protecting your mental health when old childhood wounds are reopened. Please do send in your Agony Aunties questions to: jsamuelpod@gmail.com Never miss an episode: follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can also watch episodes of Therapy Works on Julia’s YouTube…
Elif Shafak: “All I wanted from my father was an apology”
ListenedWhat happens when a parent is absent from your childhood, and how does that shape the person you become? Bestselling author Elif Shafak joins Julia Samuel to explore her relationship with her father, the loneliness she experienced growing up and how storytelling became a tool for personal growth and mental health recovery by helping her find connection and belonging. Raised largely by her grandmother and mother in Turkey, Elif grew up surrounded by strong women but with very little contact with her father. She opens up about the pain of discovering that he had been a present and loving parent to her half-brothers, the anger that followed and how those early experiences influenced her personal growth and instinct to write about people whose voices have been forgotten or silenced. They also explore the emotional cost of Elif Shafak's prosecution in Turkey following the publication of her novel, The Bastard of Istanbul, her complicated relationship with her homeland and the sense of grief that can accompany…