The Archers Omnibus

00:00 This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. 00:28 You're listening to The Archers Omnibus from BBC Radio 4. 00:49 So, other than Beryl, no-one else mentioned it? 00:53 No. I mean, it was morning prayer. There were only about 15 people there. 00:57 Oh, no. 00:58 Of course. I didn't get the impression anyone had heard about the complaint. 01:03 Even Beryl didn't really want to discuss it. I don't think chaperoning the vicar was what she expected to be doing when she became church warden at Pennyhurst. 01:11 The whole thing's ridiculous. The number of people whose time Anna's wasting, it's not just you. 01:17 Oh, I know. 01:18 There are all the church officers across all of your parishes. And then there's a safeguarding case management group and adult social services. They'll be getting dragged in. 01:27 Usha, I agree. 01:28 And on top of that, you've got your legal rep and the diocesan registrar. By the time the bishop has decided to dismiss the complaint... Let's hope. Well, of course he'll dismiss it. 01:40 haven't done anything wrong. Even by then, though, I dread to think how much the preliminary scrutiny stage will have cost the diocese. Poor Carol, thinking she was giving you that money to help the church. 01:51 All right, Isha, love. It's communion soon. Can I just enjoy my cup of tea? 01:55 All right. But seriously, when I spoke to Anna, I thought this was all settled. She's got her £6,000 back. What else does she want to achieve? To 02:05 Punish me, I suppose. I don't know. Oh, but... Whatever her reasons, the process has started now. Yes, I know, but... Talking it to death won't make it any better. 02:15 All we can do is hope it gets sorted out quickly and quietly. At least I've not been suspended. 02:20 No, of course. 02:22 I'm going to head over to St Stephen's and get myself ready. OK, but I... Let's just be grateful I'm still allowed to do my job. 02:33 Jazzer, how many times? The posts are rotten. You ain't going to be able to fix the fence. 02:39 What do you reckon? I just need something to prop it up. Hold it there. Eh? Trace, just hold it. I've got an idea. What? 02:46 What are you going to do? 02:48 No, no, no, no. You are not using my rotary washing line. Why not? It's the winter. You're not going to use it for months. Chazzer, stop being so pig-headed. We're just going to have to fork out the money. 03:01 Ah, away and buy all your heat. I told you much the new panels cost. 03:05 Yes, but if it keeps Helen happy... We don't even know the fence is in the house. Oh... 03:10 Just because she's trying to stick the bill on us. 03:12 No. She assumed the housing association would pay for it. 03:16 But, no, we know they won't. I don't get it. You're the one that couldn't believe it when she made Brad pop up for the new gate. I know. Careful, Jazzer. Even though he was the one that drove the car into it. 03:27 I didn't actually say that to her, though, did I? Anyhow, Brad's a student. 03:31 So? 03:31 So, she's my boss. I just don't think it's worth causing ructions over. 03:36 Well, that's why I'm trying to repair the fence instead. 03:40 You can't let go of her. What did I tell you? 03:45 You ain't serious. 03:46 It's stunning, is it now? 03:48 Look at it. It's all wonky. You can't leave it like that. 03:52 Well then, we're going to have to say something to Helen. Jazza, we can't. Whoa, whoa. The fence is fine now. 04:00 Morning. Helen. Don't mind me. I'm just putting the recycling out. Is there anything I can do to help? 04:14 Alan, morning. 04:15 Neil, would you mind? My cassock's managed to get caught up round the back. No, no, no, of course. 04:22 Oh, thanks so much. That's much better. How are you? 04:27 Oh, not too bad. How about you? I'm sorry. 04:33 That was a stupid question. Not at all. Look, I realise this isn't an ideal situation. I'm sure you'd rather not be having to keep an eye on me. 04:42 And it certainly isn't something I ever wanted to happen. But we are where we are. 04:48 You've been tasked with an important safeguarding job. Hang on. I want you to feel comfortable doing it, OK? 04:55 Well, thank you. That's good to hear. 04:58 I've got to say, when the Archdeacon turned up at the house, well, it was a shock, I can tell you. Anyone who knows you knows you'd never steal that money from Carol. You're a wonderful vicar. All the hard work you do for the community, the way you care for your parishioners, we're lucky to have you. 05:15 That's extremely kind. 05:19 However, your role is to be neutral and to make sure nothing inappropriate happens while the investigation runs its course, yeah? 05:26 Oh, I know. 05:28 The Archdeacon made it very clear what my duties are. 05:32 Good, good. As I said to the church warden at Pennyhasset earlier, the best way to resolve this is for us to comply with the process. I'm really not expecting any favouritism. Your job's to protect our parishioners, not me. No. All right. I'm sure between the two of us we can make this as painless as possible. 05:51 Oh, Lord, is that the time? Look, we'll talk after communion. I'll fetch the plate from the safe. 05:57 I'll hold on. 05:58 You won't be able to. 06:00 I've changed a code. 06:03 Oh, yes, yes, right. I'm sorry, I forgot. Please, go ahead. 06:10 You wouldn't mind just stepping out of the vestry while I enter it? 06:15 Sorry? 06:17 Well, I know you won't look, but just to be on the safe side. 06:21 Oh, I see. No, quite right, quite right. Yes, yes, of course. Yes. 06:30 Thank you for trying to fix it so quickly. But honestly, with the state the fence is in, I'm happy to wait for the Housing Association to repair it properly. 06:38 Well, that's the thing. We've checked the tenancy agreement and it's no their responsibility. 06:42 But I thought Bert said... Yeah, I know. And it probably was back when it were a council house. These days, though, they push more and more of the maintenance costs onto the tenants. Oh, I'm sorry. So you've got to pay for the fence? Yeah. 06:55 No, it depends. On what? On whose fence it is. It could be yours. 07:00 Oh, no, no, it's definitely yours. You've got the side of the posts. 07:03 plus the fence is on the left-hand side as you look at it from the house. 07:07 No, it's not. 07:08 Yes, it is. 07:09 Well, Your Honour, but it's on the right. Helen means from her house, Jazza. 07:13 Yeah, which means it belongs to you. 07:15 If it's any comfort, it's going to cost me over £200 to replace the plant pots that got smashed. 07:20 £200? 07:21 Don't worry, I'm not expecting you to pay for them. 07:24 Honestly, smashed pots and Brad driving into my gate, if I didn't know better. 07:29 I think you didn't like having me as a neighbour. Don't be silly. We're just grateful to have someone so understanding. Jasper, isn't that right? Yes. 07:41 Thank you, everyone. 07:43 Before the offering, I have a few parish notices to share. A reminder that, in addition to it being All Saints Day, we're holding a special service later this evening for All Souls Day, which falls tomorrow. 07:58 Anyone who would like to is invited to St Mary's at Edgley to remember and light a candle for those loved ones we've lost, especially those who have passed away recently. 08:10 On a less solemn note, the Grundys have asked me to remind you about the Bonfire Night event that they're holding in the community orchard to celebrate Ambridge weathering the storm of two weeks ago. 08:22 The whole village is welcome. 08:25 As are any apple dishes. If anyone's listening, I'm very fond of a crumble. 08:29 LAUGHTER 08:31 Now, what else? Ah, yes, yeah. Next week is, of course, Remembrance Sunday, and the service at Edgley will begin earlier... 08:39 It's an absolute disgrace. 08:42 Somersia, what's that? 08:47 You do know it's nonsense, don't you? What she's accusing him of. There's no truth to it at all. 08:53 No, well, look, I'm not really supposed to talk about it. 08:59 But if she'd ever attended a single service, if she saw all the good work Alan does, including for her own motherhood... 09:09 So good. 09:10 She should be thanking him, not making malicious accusations. 09:13 I don't blame you for feeling that way, but I've got to try to be neutral, though. 09:20 I know, I know. 09:22 You've got to play this ludicrous game. 09:25 I'm counting on you, though, Neil. 09:28 As one of Alan's closest friends, I need you to stick up for him. 09:33 Now, if you're able, please stand to sing our next... 09:37 I'm sorry, Usha. I've got to pass the collection plate. 09:41 Excuse me. 09:43 No. 09:49 Trace, what did I tell you? Helen's talking tripe. 09:53 Oh, you ain't still going on about the fence. 09:56 Too right. 09:57 I'll stay high on all that stuff about the fence on the left. It's a load of old mince. 10:01 Are you sure? I've definitely heard people say that before. 10:05 Who have you got any trust? A bunch of idiots who haven't got a clue what they're talking about, or a supercomputer with a brain the size of a planet. 10:11 All right, all right. So, if it's so smart, have you asked it who the fence does belong to? 10:15 Oh, well, that's another thing. The only way to properly find out is to look at the title deeds, and you can bet your life Helen's seen name. She only just bought the house. I don't get it. What are you implying? I reckon she knows fine well the fences house. Otherwise, why did she not show us them? She just doesn't know how to pay for it. 10:31 What? 10:33 I know I thought she would be in a bit of a skinflint over the gate. She wouldn't try to deliberately cheat us, though. There's only one way to find out. Jazza, no. You're not going over there, are you? 10:42 Please don't. Keep your knickers on. I'm with that daft hen. Oh, good. I need proof first. What proof? 10:49 The deeds, of course. I'm going to get on to the Housing Association first thing tomorrow. 10:58 Sorry, Neil. Am I all right to come in? 11:00 Just one second, Alan. 11:05 Right. 11:06 OK. Thanks. 11:08 Is the collection in the safe, too? 11:10 No. Hilary took it with her. She's going to pay into the bank herself. Great. One less job for me, I guess. Yeah. 11:16 Has everyone gone? Sorry? Is there anyone left in the church? No, no, no, just Ushie. You're free to go. Well, didn't you want to have a talk? We need to figure out how I'm going to accompany you on your pastoral visits. I've had a look at your online diary. You know they give me access. 11:32 Yes, yes, of course. 11:34 There are quite a few dates that are going to be tricky. 11:38 Do you want to sit down now and try to work it out? Actually, do you mind if we do it another time? I'm just a bit frattled. Oh. 11:45 Oh, well, look, in that case, I'll be going on. 11:48 Neil, are you off? 11:50 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am. 11:52 Well, thank you for everything. 11:54 Oh, don't mention it. 11:56 See you, Alan. 11:57 Oh, yeah, see you, Neil. Bye. 12:01 That was a wonderful sermon you gave about not even saints being perfect. 12:05 We're all flawed. 12:07 God only asks that we open ourselves to him so his light can shine through the cracks. 12:12 That was it. 12:14 I think she's going to be even harder than I thought. There I am, administering Holy Communion to my congregation. I'm not even trusted to put the plate away in the safe. 12:23 Of course you're trusted, Alan. Don't let one spiteful woman's paranoia get in your head. 12:28 Don't talk about her like that. Why not? 12:31 You're entitled to be angry. 12:32 I am angry. I'm furious. Well, then. Just being angry doesn't help. I know you're trying to be supportive, love, but I have to rise above it. 12:41 Oh, come on. Who's trying to be perfect now? 12:44 Maybe. But what's the alternative? Anna feels I've wronged her. 12:50 I have to try to treat her with grace. 13:00 Mum? Wait, you're not leaving for the hospital, are you? Yes, I told you. Well, I said I'd come with you. You can't keep going on your own. 13:07 Well, I'm not on my own. Shelley's there quite a bit, and Stephanie and Beth. 13:11 You know what I mean. It's a lot visiting Vince every day. 13:15 Just stay there. I'm going to grab my coat. 13:17 Lily, you don't need to worry about me. I saw Dr Malik last week. She thinks I'm coping fine. 13:23 Yeah, you said. 13:23 Yeah, and it's true. She doesn't think I need antidepressants. 13:26 Okay, okay. If that's what you're telling me. It still doesn't mean you should have to do this by yourself. 13:34 Apart from anything else, I'd like to see Vince too. I can spare the time. 13:39 Can you, though? Come on, there's so much for you to do here. Mum... Isn't the fire inspector coming to do a new risk assessment? 13:44 That's not until tomorrow. 13:46 All right, but there must be so many other things. 13:48 Nothing that can't wait. Oh, but Lily... Mum, honestly, stop worrying about the house, OK? 13:53 Everything is under control. 13:59 Don't worry, Susan. I expect Brad or Chelsea put it away thinking it were ours. Oh, I know. 14:06 I'm not worried. When did you bring it round? Last Wednesday. I made Dad's sausage casserole. Oh. 14:15 You know which dish it is, don't you? It's my nice cast iron one. The one I bought in the sale at Underwoods. Oh, I know, I know. No, it's not in there either. Oh, honestly, Tracy, it's got to be somewhere. Kind of blown away. No. 14:31 Although, given what we came home to... What do you mean? With the fence. Oh, yes. Jazza's got a right bee in his bonnet. He wasn't even dressed this morning and he was on the phone to the housing association trying to confirm who it belonged to. Well, it's yours, isn't it? You've got the side with the post. That's what Helen thought too. But it's an old wife's tale, apparently, and Jazza's determined not to pay for it if we don't have to. 14:55 I suppose if you're not sure. Yeah, I guess. I just don't want to have to have the argument with Ellen. Best thing would be for the Housing Association to get back to us and say the fence is ours. 15:07 Mind you, I still don't reckon that'll satisfy Jazza. 15:10 I mean, I get it's money we could be spending on something else. The freezer has started making a strange rattling noise. I don't reckon it's long for this world. What I don't get is why he's making such a big song and dance about it. 15:24 Susan? Hmm? Look, if you're really that worried about your dish, I'll carry on looking. 15:29 No! No, no, no. Look, sorry, Tracey. I was just thinking about something else. Oh, yeah? What's that, then? Oh, it doesn't matter. I should be going. I only popped in on my way to the shop. Hold on. You can't leave me hanging. I know. 15:45 I really shouldn't tell you. Well, now you have to. 15:49 Don't tease me, Susan. What is it? Oh, all right. 15:53 But it can't go any further. All right. 15:56 It's to do with Anna Tregoran. 15:59 You know her and Alan had that strange to-do at Carol's memorial? Have you found out what it was about? 16:08 So the swelling in your spine's gone down? Yes. 16:12 I guess so. 16:12 You must be feeling so much more positive. 16:15 Oh, ah. If they didn't have me stuck in this bed, I'd be doing cartwheels round the ward. Thanks. Anyhow, enough about me. 16:23 How are you getting on, Lily? Thanks for coming to your mum's rescue. She's been telling me what a big help you're being with the house. 16:29 Oh, well, I'm just grateful to Ian. You know, if he wasn't letting me have so much time away from Grey Gables... Oh, I know. 16:36 Goodness knows what we'd have done, especially with Glenn being away on sabbatical. 16:39 Well, I'm just pleased Elizabeth's got you around. How's the place looking? Oh... 16:44 Better than it was. If you call scaffolding defacing the whole of one wing better. 16:50 I'm trying not to think about the impact it's going to have on the wedding business. And brides love having their photo taken in front of the wisteria. 16:56 There are other pretty spots to have photos. 16:59 No, I know. But people won't want to get married on a building site, will they? 17:03 I mean, if they start to cancel... Look, I told you. I'm calling around all of our current bookings to reassure them. 17:08 You have done or you're planning to? Because it needs doing ASAP. Yeah, I know. 17:11 I know. Don't fret. I'm sure Lily can handle it. 17:14 Yeah, I didn't say otherwise. 17:16 She knows what she's doing, don't you, Lily? 17:17 Yes, of course. Vince, what is it? What's the matter? 17:22 Nothing, it's fine. It's just a twinge. 17:24 It doesn't look like more than a twinge. Do you need some more painkillers? 17:27 No, no. Just give me a minute. It's going off now. 17:34 Tell you what, why don't you go and fetch a coffee? 17:37 What, now? 17:38 Yeah, give yourself some time off from always being sat here with me. We'll be all right, won't we, Lily? 17:47 Panic over. I knew it would be somewhere. Oh, my casserole dish. You found it. Yes, they were hidden behind Chelsea's great big tubs of supplements. 17:56 That is a relief. I want to use it for Thursday night's party in the community orchard. I'm going to make Malvern pudding. 18:05 Oh, hey, I've been thinking about what you were saying before. 18:09 I can't believe Alan stole Carol's money either. But remember how desperate he were to squeeze every penny out the sum of fate? No, Tracy, shush. I'm just saying, in retrospect, it looks even more sus. No, that's enough. I know you don't want to think it, but there ain't no smoke without fire. 18:25 Is that right? 18:27 Usher. 18:28 How are you getting on back there? Did you find what you're looking for? I did. Why didn't you tell me she would be on the shelf? 18:35 Never mind that. What I'd like to know is how you knew about the investigation. It's supposed to be strictly confidential. 18:41 It's my fault, Osha. I told Tracy. What do you think you're doing? Gossiping about it at all, Susan? 18:54 Vince, are you sure you don't want me to fetch some help? 18:56 Honestly, carry on. How's your mum doing, really? 19:01 Obviously, she's worried sick about you. 19:02 Don't tell me that. I can see it in her eyes whenever she looks at me. 19:08 Vince, I'm going to go and find a nurse. 19:10 No, no. They said this might happen after the physio. 19:14 I started getting these excruciating jolts of pain down my back and in my legs. Everything went great. I thought I was going to pass out. 19:23 You said it had gone well. 19:25 Of course I did. I'd say anything to stop your mum fretting. It's bad enough she has to see me like this. Nurses having to come and turn me every couple of hours. 19:35 Bagging me own urine down the side of the bed. 19:37 Mum doesn't care about that. 19:39 I do. 19:41 The sooner they get rid of this catheter, the better. 19:44 And I spilt breakfast down myself this morning. I had to just lie there while two young lasses cleaned me up. 19:50 It must be awful... 19:53 Just try to remember, though, it's still early days, OK? For all we know, you might make a complete recovery. 20:00 And what if I don't? 20:03 What if this is me now, stuck in a bed or a wheelchair, not able to do anything for myself? I'd rather be six foot under. 20:11 Don't say that. 20:14 There are plenty of people without the use of their legs who still lead amazing, fulfilling lives. 20:20 Here we are. Mum, goodness, it's a long walk to the coffee shop. I think this one's your cappuccino, Lily. Oh, thanks. 20:28 Something wrong? 20:29 Hmm? 20:30 Are you OK, Vince? 20:32 Oh, we've been having a nice little chat with me, Lily. That's all, love. 20:37 Sit yourself down. 20:42 I don't know why Carol didn't tell anyone, let alone why she chose to transfer the money into Alan's personal account. No, OK. But the idea that he stole it from her or coerced her into giving it to him... Well, I can assure you that once the bishop has looked at all the facts, he'll agree there's no case to answer. Oh, I'm sure, Roosha. Me and Susan, we were just... Gossiping. 21:07 That's what's so disappointing. 21:10 I'm sure the Archdeacon made it clear to Neil what a sensitive matter this is. Yes, of course. And I'd hope Neil made it clear to you that this isn't something for you to be blabbing about. No, Usher. How do you think it's going to affect Alan's ministry if word gets out? What's it going to do to the relationship with his parishioners? Yes, yes, all right. I really thought someone so involved in the church would know better. 21:35 And I do. 21:37 I wasn't blabbing. I was confiding in my sister. 21:42 This isn't an easy situation for us either. Neil's been put in a horrible position. Not to mention all the extra time he's been asked to give up. That's part and parcel of being a church warden. 21:53 It comes with lots of important responsibilities. 21:56 I know. 21:58 And I told Tracy to keep it to herself. 22:01 I haven't told anyone else, have you, Tracy? Me? 22:05 No. 22:07 And is Tracy the only person you've spoken about it to? I just told you. Good. 22:14 Well, then, let's keep it that way, shall we? The last thing we need is anyone else fanning the flames. Fine by me. 22:22 I'll say goodbye, then. 22:24 OK, bye. Oh, hang on, Usha. Don't you want your dishwasher sold? I'll manage without... 22:33 Oh, dear. What's that saying? Methinks the lady doth protest too much. 22:38 She can protest all she likes. There was no need to speak to me like that. 22:44 So, you really haven't told anyone else? 22:50 Tracy, I told you this mustn't go any further. And it won't. I promise you, Susan, no-one's going to hear it from me. 23:03 Oh, it's upside down. 23:07 What? The ticket. Oh, you'd think I'd know how to use these parking machines by now. Don't worry, it's easily done. How much? 23:17 You should have said something, Lily. I didn't realise we'd been here that long. Don't be silly. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with Vince too. 23:25 Although, um, we did have a heart-to-heart while you were off fetching the coffees. 23:32 I don't think he's doing as well as he's making out. 23:36 No, of course he's not. You didn't think he was fooling me with that front he's putting on. I know him too well. 23:43 And I know what he's facing. 23:46 What do you mean? Well, I wasn't going to say this to him, but I've spoken to his doctors. You were right. 23:52 His spine isn't swollen anymore. OK, well, that's good. But it also means the signals should be able to start to get through. He still can't move his legs. He can't feel anything. 24:04 It's why I have to be here, Lily. No matter how macho Vince wants to pretend to be, no matter how much he thinks he's protecting me. 24:13 And it's why I need you to stop worrying about me and put all your time and energy into saving Lower Locksley. That's the best way you can help me right now. 24:31 When she first cut it, there wasn't even that much blood. 24:34 Can you keep her tail lifted, Denise? 24:36 Yeah, Alison, I got it. 24:37 We don't want her kicking out. 24:38 I cleaned it, I disinfected it. I think she did it on a piece of corrugated iron during the big storm. A strip came off the machinery shed. 24:46 So this happened over two weeks ago? 24:49 Like I say, I didn't think it was that bad. OK, girl. 24:54 To be totally honest, the thought of how much it was going to cost to call you out... No, I know. I really thought she was on the mend. No. 25:02 But then in the last few days her limps got worse and she started lying down a lot. Oh, it's all right, Esme. It's a hard call to make. 25:09 I only asked to ascertain how long her hock's been like this. 25:13 Is she going to need antibiotics? 25:15 That's one possibility. 25:17 How long for? 25:19 It's just she's my best milker. I can't afford to be throwing her milk away. No, well... Are we talking about a week? Two weeks? 25:27 Please don't say it's going to be even longer. 25:29 I've just been feeling inside the wound. You see that pus? 25:33 It's not from the soft tissue. It's synovial fluid. 25:37 So what does that mean? 25:38 It means the infection has spread into the joint. 25:41 If you want, we can sedate her now. Try to flush it out. Put her on an aggressive course of medication, which will obviously be quite expensive. 25:51 Right. 25:52 Okay. 25:52 But even then, the chances of getting rid of the infection are slim. 25:57 Plus, it's probably already eaten away most of her cartilage. Even if she recovers, she'll almost certainly be in constant pain. 26:05 So basically what you're saying is I left it too late. Oh, sorry, Esme. 26:08 I know it's not what you wanted to hear. 26:10 It's true, though. 26:11 But what I'm saying is that as things stand now, the kindest and most cost-effective option is to have her put down. 26:24 Oh, Lily. 26:25 Oh, Helen. 26:25 Hi. Hi. 26:26 Sorry, are you coming in? 26:27 No, I was, but never mind that. How are you? How's your mum? 26:32 Oh, she's OK. She's still spending most of her time going back and forth to the hospital. 26:38 Right. How's Vince? Any improvement? A little. 26:43 He's begun having physio. 26:44 Oh, really? 26:45 Just a few minutes a day. 26:46 Well, that does sound encouraging. 26:48 Yeah, it does. 26:50 Oh, afternoon. Fallon. 26:52 All right, Alan. 26:54 Lily. Hi. Hi. 26:57 Right, well, I suppose I ought to be getting a move on. Lots to do. Yeah, OK. Are you heading back to Lower Loxley? 27:03 Yes, I am. Why? Well, just that I'll be heading over soon, too. We could do with having a talk about my workshop programme. Oh, yes, sure. 27:13 Why don't you come and find me in the office? Yeah. Bye then, Alan. 27:17 Oh, see you, Louie. Bye. 27:21 I'm sorry, Fallon. It didn't occur to me, you know, Lillian... Well, it must be difficult for you. 27:26 Don't apologise. It's not your fault it took Harrison five minutes to jump into bed with somebody else. 27:31 No. Well, I've got to say, when I first heard about him and Lily, I was quite taken aback, especially having seen how distressed he was about your separation. 27:41 I guess he fooled both of us. 27:44 Sorry. 27:44 No, no, no, please don't. 27:47 I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself. 27:51 Here I am, trying to start afresh. And what happens? My place of work gets hit by lightning and I end up with my husband's 26-year-old girlfriend as my boss. 28:00 Not that what's happened isn't terrible. 28:02 No, of course. 28:03 Poor Elizabeth. And Vince. I can't imagine what they must be going through. 28:08 Yes, indeed. It does put one's own problems in perspective, that's for sure. Yeah. 28:14 Um, I hope you don't mind me asking you this, Anne, but, um, I was just talking to Mum and she mentioned some gossip that she heard in the pub last night and... 28:25 Sorry, Fallon, I just zoned out there for a minute. I was in a world of me own. That's OK. Oh, my goodness. Look, in fact, I've got to be over in Felpersham in less than an hour. I should get going. 28:35 Oh, OK. 28:36 I've got a meeting at Church House. I'll see you. 28:38 All right. 28:43 All done, I'm afraid. 28:45 She didn't feel a thing. 28:47 Good. 28:48 Here's her ear tag, so you can officially log her death. 28:52 Thanks. 28:53 Oh, I'm sorry for being such a wimp. I just... I couldn't stay. No, no. Don't be daft. I've called the hunt kennels. They're going to collect the carcass in the morning. 29:02 OK, great. 29:04 With the cost of that and your fee for today, it would probably have been cheaper if I called you out when she first hurt herself. 29:10 You mustn't blame yourself. 29:11 Who else is there to blame? 29:15 I'm sorry. 29:15 No, it's all right. 29:16 No, it's just... Everywhere I look... 29:20 I knew the shed roof needed replacing, but I haven't got the money. So I put it off and it blows down in the storm. It injures a cow, so I try to save money by treating her myself, and look what's happened. 29:30 Esme, you've had a run of bad luck. 29:31 Oh, it's nothing to do with luck. 29:34 If I just had a little bit more breathing room, if I wasn't shelling out for more and more of everything, fodder, electricity, vets' fees, then I wouldn't have to make these decisions. 29:44 That's not your fault, though. Alistair, we really do need to get to our next appointment. 29:48 Oh, yeah, right. 29:50 Sorry, Esme. 29:51 No, no. Thank you for coming out. 29:54 Alistair? 29:55 Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. 29:58 Look after yourself, Esme. 29:59 Thanks. I'll try. 30:01 And, um, don't worry about the bill. 30:05 What? 30:05 Well, I don't see any need to invoice you for this one. You've already lost your best milker. 30:11 Are you serious? No. 30:13 Thanks, Alistair. 30:15 Thank you so much. 30:15 Not at all. Fingers crossed you won't have to see us again for a while. 30:19 I guess. But still. 30:20 Take care now. 30:24 Bye. 30:25 That was very kind of you. 30:27 Well, we all need a little helping hand sometimes, don't we? Head office won't be happy. Head office? Don't need to know. Our next appointment's only around the corner. I'll just say we spent a little longer there than expected. Add the extra mileage to that bill. Oh. 30:43 Well, they can afford it. And as for the cartridge for the bolt gun, it only costs pennies. If you say so, Robin Hood. That's the least we can do when even our wealthier clients are complaining about the hike in fees. 30:55 And I'd hate to lose a struggling farmer like Esme as well. 31:02 But if the health and safety executive don't sign everything off, then we won't be able to reopen on Saturday. No, I know. I... 31:14 Not till late. Why? That would be lovely, Harrison. 31:21 It'd be so nice to see you. Hang on, just a second. 31:26 Hello? Sorry, no, I wasn't... Maybe I should come back later. 31:31 Alan... 31:32 I can see you're busy. Wait! Hold on. 31:36 Listen, I have to go. 31:38 Message me when you're heading over. 31:40 Me too. 31:42 Bye. 31:43 You didn't need to end your call just because of me, you know. 31:46 No, I know. 31:49 Right, so you want to talk about the workshops? Yes, that's right. Just to warn you, I'm not sure how much help I will be. 31:56 That's kind of the thing. I've been hoping to wait for Elizabeth to come back, but from the stuff I'm hearing... No, she won't be back for a while. It's just I need to know where I stand. 32:06 Are we still launching in January? Because if we are, we need to start marketing now. And is it right that the gallery is going to be a temporary cafe now? That's correct. Well, I had some art classes lined up for in there. 32:16 I need to think about where they're going to go. Like I say, my focus is getting the core parts of the business back up and running. 32:24 So what's going to happen with your workshops? I just don't know. 32:27 What's that supposed to mean? Because they're important to your mum. We've worked very hard looking at ways to bring in extra revenue. No, I know. Just because it's new, you can't just get rid of me. 32:37 Who said anything about getting rid of you? 32:40 All I meant was I haven't had a chance to think about it. Okay, I just thought... Do you think I don't want you around? 32:46 No. 32:47 Look, this is still obviously uncomfortable for both of us. 32:51 All I really want to know is if I still have a job. 32:54 Maybe if I spoke to Elizabeth. I know she's not meant to be working. No, if I could just talk to her about this... My mum has got enough to handle. Of course, and I know things must be hard, but this was something that she was really excited about. 33:06 Well, you've got me now, and I'm afraid I've got a million and one more pressing things to deal with. 33:12 In fact, I need to go and meet the fire inspector. He's going to be here in a minute. But... I'll get back to you when I've had some time to think. 33:21 Pip and Stella? No, we saw them over at Brookfield. 33:25 They were only gone for a week. Remind me, where'd they go again? 33:28 Iceland. Oh, yes, yes, of course. They hired a camper van, drove the entire way round the island. 33:32 Watch the Northern Lights lying under a blanket together on the roof. 33:35 So pleased for them. They deserved a good honeymoon after the drama of the wedding. Yes, indeed. Thank you. 33:40 Now the Grundies are organising this big get-together in the orchard on Thursday. 33:44 Are you coming to that, Alan? Oh, yeah, I'll be there. 33:47 Oh, will you? Here are your drinks. I had to change the barrel. 33:50 Oh, thanks, Fallon. Why do you sound so surprised? 33:53 Oh, no. 33:53 No, no, not surprised. Good for you. 33:57 Shall we go and find somewhere to sit? 33:58 Absolutely. 33:59 How about that corner over there? 34:01 Yeah, wherever you are. Hang on a moment. Sorry to keep you waiting, Alan. What would you like? Do you know what that was all about? 34:07 Look, it's just a stupid rumour. 34:10 What rumour? Well, you might as well tell me, Fallon. I think I can guess. 34:15 It's to do with Carol. The rumour is you're being investigated for stealing from her. Is it true? 34:21 All I can say is a formal process is underway in accordance with the clergy discipline measure. To protect everyone involved, I am not permitted to discuss the details. I ask for your prayers for the parish. 34:36 Oh, I think I'll have a brandy. 34:38 Single or double? 34:39 Tempting as it is, just a single. 34:40 Sure. Sure. 34:43 I should have known it wouldn't stay secret for long. Who do you hear it from? 34:46 Mum, but only because Bert Harbin was talking about it when he was in here last night. 34:51 Here you go. 34:52 Right, thanks. 34:53 Look, if it's any comfort, Alan, I've had a pretty rubbish day too. 34:56 Oh, who was that? 34:58 Well, you know the talk that I was going to have with Lily? 35:00 Mm-hm. 35:01 Well, I walked in on her on the phone to Harrison and it went downhill from there. 35:06 Tap your card when you're ready. 35:07 Oh, dear, really. 35:09 her. That I've only got myself to blame. It's him I'm angry with, but I ended up taking it out on her. 35:15 I know how that works. I've just had a two-hour grilling from the safeguarding officer. By the end, I was ready to take out my anger on her, too. 35:22 Why? What happened? 35:24 Oh... 35:25 Sorry, not supposed to say. 35:26 No, it's OK. It was just incredibly aggravating, that's all. I mean, yeah, I understand why safeguarding's so important, but some of the things she was asking me about, about my personal finances, about who I share my contact details with... I mean, she even asked how often I visit people who are on their own or widowed or socially isolated... I'm a vicar, for God's sake. Ministering to lonely people is my bread and butter. 35:54 That does sound kind of crazy. 35:56 I know. But what I really resent is the insinuation that the things I believe are most important to what I do, kindness, compassion, human fellowship, are somehow suspicious at face value. 36:10 Oh, what does it matter, though? Words out, everyone's going to be questioning me. 36:15 I'm sorry, Alan. It must be really awful for you, especially when it's obvious you haven't done anything wrong. 36:20 Oh, glad you think so. 36:22 Of course I do. I mean, just listening to you now, there's no way that you stole money from Carol. 36:27 Thank you, Fallon. That means a lot to me. 36:30 Just a shame my own church doesn't seem to feel the same way. Cheers. 36:43 You sure you've got time for this, Helen? Yeah, of course. I didn't mean to drag you away from the shop. I only came over to grab a few ingredients for dinner. There's no fresh food in the cottage. I know, really. I was just doing a stock take. Do you want milk with your Americano? No, thanks. I hadn't even realised you were in Ambridge. No, well, I've been back and forth. There's still so much of Mum's stuff to sort out. Right, so what about your Mum's money? I thought you were in two minds about reporting, Alan. Yeah. I had no choice. I had to do something, and I knew there wasn't any point going to the police. 37:14 No? No, there's not enough evidence to prosecute. 37:18 My only option was to complain to the diocese. 37:21 I couldn't sleep at night thinking it wasn't at least going to be looked into. 37:25 Well, we'll see what happens, I guess. 37:27 Look, I know you don't believe Alan stole the money. 37:30 I'd be very surprised, that's all. 37:33 Oh, so you think Mum just decided to secretly give him £6,000? Possibly. Helen, come on. 37:39 Of all people, you know what it's like to be coerced. And then, like all men like that, he sends out his wife to defend him. 37:46 What? 37:46 Usha tried to explain to me how it had all just been a terrible misunderstanding. The £6,000 had been returned to the executor, no harm, no foul. Well, that's when I knew I had to report him. Who knows how many other vulnerable people he's taking advantage of? That man can't be trusted. Excuse me. Oh, Fallon, hi. 38:02 Forgive me for interrupting, but I really don't believe that Alan did what you think. 38:08 I beg your pardon? 38:08 Well, I know there are always two sides to a story, but I was talking to him in the pub last night and he can't bear the idea that anyone would think he'd done something so awful. I have to get to work, but I just needed to say that. I'll leave you in peace. 38:25 Wow. 38:27 Anna, I think lots of people are going to feel that way. Look, Alan knows there are strict rules around confidentiality. What the hell's he doing talking about it in the pub? 38:41 Oh, morning, Lily. Don't close the door. I'm heading over to the gallery. I want to check how the pop-up cafe's coming along. Of course. Wait, Lily, hold on. 38:51 Yeah? 38:53 About yesterday, I wanted to apologise. I let my personal feelings get the better of me. 39:03 Whatever issues I have with Harrison, well, they're between me and him, and I shouldn't have projected them onto you the way I did. 39:10 You must be under so much stress at the moment. Of course you haven't thought about the workshop programme yet. 39:16 But I really would like us to be able to work together, though. Do you think we can do that? 39:22 Lily, are you going to say anything? 39:24 Can we at least try to get through this? We... We can try. 39:30 Lily, what's the matter? I'm fine, really. No, you're not, no. 39:35 Come on, let's find somewhere a bit more private. 39:38 Could we go to the flat? 39:42 Well, in that case, how about tomorrow evening? 39:45 Oh, well, Susan and I are meant to be going to Bonfire Night in the community orchard. 39:50 Yes, I'd originally intended to go, too. 39:52 Yeah, but if that's the only time we can both manage... Are you sure, Neil? I don't want to ruin your plans. No, no. 39:58 It'll be nice to see Pauline. It's been a while since she's been able to come to church. OK, shall we say, what, 7 o'clock? 40:06 Or 7.30? I mean, I'm just conscious she gets very tired these days. No, 7's fine. I ought to be back from Barrow by then. I am sorry, Neil. I know what a hassle it is, having to chaperone me on these one-to-one visits. 40:17 Oh, it's fine, Alan. Don't worry. 40:20 It's got to be done. Yeah. Did you say you're not working on Friday? No, that's fine. Would you be able to accompany me to Felpisham Hospital to visit Terry Mumford? Yeah, of course. How's he doing? Not too good. The COPD has gone a lot worse. Both his lungs are failing him now. Oh, dear me. 40:38 What's that? 40:39 Reverend Franks, where are you? 40:42 Oh. Are you there? 40:43 Ah. 40:47 Let's sit down here. Has your mum got any tissues anywhere? 40:51 Oh, probably. I'm not sure. 40:54 Honestly, though, Fallon, you don't need to be so kind to me. Don't be daft. 40:57 You're upset. 40:59 Ah, I knew Elizabeth would have some somewhere. There you go. Thank you. And what's going on? 41:06 Where to start? 41:08 I promised Mum I'd get the house reopened on Saturday. 41:12 But there's still so much to do. I don't know if it's going to be possible. Of course it is. You're doing amazingly. Even then, though, it feels like it's only the start. 41:23 The first email I saw this morning was another wedding being cancelled. 41:28 I haven't told Mum, but that's six so far. 41:31 Look, you're going to take a short-term hit. Of course you are. 41:33 But it's not just the short-term. Before we can even start rebuilding work, experts have got to go through the rubble deciding which parts of the original fabric can be saved. And then they'll be getting all the list of building concerns. 41:45 OK, OK. 41:46 It's why we have to reopen. 41:48 At the very least, we've got to start getting visitors back through the doors. 41:52 There wasn't time for Halloween, but Deck the Hall will be upon us soon. It happens. It has to be a big success. And it will be. I just don't know how I'm going to do it, though. I can't ask Mum. And Freddie's busy managing things at the Abattoir. 42:08 Uncle David and Uncle Kenton have offered to help. 42:09 Oh, there, see? I'm sure if you ask Kenton, he'll be over here like a shot. 42:13 I know, but practically speaking, there's only so much he can do. 42:17 Look, um... 42:19 I know it must feel like you've got a mountain to climb at the moment, but honestly, just take it a day at a time. 42:25 You've just got to keep plugging away. And what if that's not enough? Hey, come on. Things aren't that bad. 42:32 Most of Lower Locksley is still standing. 42:34 No, I know. You can do it. 42:39 It's not just the house I'm worried about, though. 42:44 Anna, if you'd just give me a chance to explain. There's nothing to explain. 42:47 Look, let's just calm things down a bit. 42:49 Yes, we are in church. Indeed we are. And the clergy discipline measures code of practice clearly states that inquiries into misconduct are to be kept private and confidential. 43:00 Yes, I know. 43:00 It also states that any attempt to put pressure on a complainant to withdraw their allegation, either personally or through a third party, is entirely improper. 43:11 I hope you're not suggesting I asked Fallon to speak to you. No. Good. 43:14 But you've clearly been going around currying favour. Have you any clue how distressing this has been for me already? I didn't want to make this complaint. All I wanted was to say goodbye to my mum. And then to have someone I barely know come up to me in public and accuse me of making a false allegation. That's not what she said. As good as. 43:37 And I'm very sorry she did that, but I spoke to Fallon purely as a friend. 43:41 Oh, please. 43:41 I wasn't trying to influence her. I didn't discuss the details of the case. Could I just point something out? Even though there seem to be general knowledge already. 43:49 It's against the rules for the two of you to have contact. You shouldn't even be talking. She's the one who walked in here. 43:56 Come on, Anna, let's go. 43:57 Yes, I think that would be best. We are trying very hard to keep everything above board. 44:02 Oh, I can see that. Who better to safeguard a vicar than his own subordinates? The same people who look to him for their spiritual guidance. Who do we think they're going to be loyal to? 44:13 Actually, as a church warden, I'm an officer of the bishop. Oh, come on, you're his friend! 44:18 All right, Anna, you've said what you wanted. We should go now. 44:21 Yes, yeah. All right. 44:24 This isn't the end of the matter, though. I will be informing the Archdeacon. 44:29 That would be the appropriate way to deal with it. Do what you like. 44:32 Oh, believe me, I will. 44:35 You might have your parishioners wound round your little finger, Reverend Franks, but you are not going to intimidate me. 44:46 I'm just so scared it's going to be like it was when I dropped out of uni. 44:50 I'd be trying to manage the house and Mum wouldn't even have got out of bed. 44:54 I know. Yeah, I remember how worried Kenton was about her. 44:59 Does she seem depressed now, though? 45:02 I don't think so. 45:03 Not at the moment. Good. 45:06 But what's happening with Vince is so terrible. 45:11 I can't go through it again, Fallon. I just... I can't. No, OK. It's all right. 45:17 I went with her to see him on Monday. It was so awful. 45:23 They're both trying to put on a brave face, but really, they're terrified. I mean, Mum's already lost my dad. 45:31 What if Vince can't ever walk again? Is this going to be her life from now on, being his carer? I... 45:40 I'm so sorry, Lily, I... 45:42 I really don't know what to say. 45:44 There's nothing to say. All we can do is hope he begins to get movement back in his legs and that in the meantime, Mum doesn't fall apart. 45:57 Listen, you're right. 45:59 There's not much any of us can do, but maybe I can help with the house. 46:05 You? 46:06 In what way? 46:08 Deck the hall, perhaps? You said you were worried about it. Maybe I could take it off your hands. Oh, Fallon, I... No, no, my job is organising events. I know, but you've got your workshops to think about. Yeah, but let's be totally honest. They don't really matter if the rest of Lower Locksley's going down the pan. 46:26 I reckon it's all hands to the pump. 46:29 You'd really do that? Of course. Yeah. 46:33 Wow. 46:35 Now I don't know what to say. 46:38 Thank you, Fallon. 46:41 Are you really sure about this, though? Absolutely. 46:44 Just as long as we leave our personal baggage at the front gates, I reckon we'll get on fine. 46:52 You can see what I'm dealing with. It's got nothing to do with the £6,000. It's all about her not getting along with her mother. Look, let's not comment on Anna's motivations. But that's what's happening, isn't it? She's taking her grief out on me. So what exactly did you say to Fallon? Nothing. Well, you must have said something to her, Alan. Look, it was the end of a long day. I'd just had my first interview with a safeguarding officer and I get back to discover everyone's heard about the complaint. 47:20 Right. All I did was tell Fallon how I was feeling about it. I didn't try to defend myself. I didn't mention Anna... 47:30 I'm going to get suspended now, aren't I? She's probably calling the archdeacon as we speak. 47:35 Oh, sorry, Alan. I just don't know. Would you talk to Ray? The archdeacon? Well, you're going to have to report this to the safeguarding team anyway. I might have slipped up slightly talking to Fallon, but Anna, she was completely out of line barging in here. 47:53 I'll tell the Archdeacon exactly what happened, as I saw it. That's all I'm asking, Neil. Just tell him I'm doing everything I can to comply with the inquiry. It's Anna who's flouting all the rules. Well, isn't she? 48:06 Well, I'll see what I can do. 48:16 Hang on, Trace. Let me finish reading the email. 48:19 OK, but we do need to leave soon. 48:21 Just listen to this. 48:23 The deeds to your property are silent regarding ownership of the boundary fence. It is therefore legally presumed to be shared. Ideally, the cost of repairing it should be split 50-50 between you and your neighbour. See, what did I tell you? Are you no glad I checked it with the housing association now? 48:38 Fine. So you've proved half your point. What are you going to do now? Tell Helen. Is she coming to the community orchard? Jazza, don't you dare. This evening's about bringing the village together after the storm, not having an argument over a blown down fence. 48:52 What argument? It's the law. 48:54 I reckon we tell Helen that since I'll be doing all the repairs, she can provide the materials. What? You in serious? Why not? Jazzer! Cost her a lot more if we've got a professional into it. What's got into you? 49:06 The housing association are saying we need to cough up half, so let's just cough up half. Why are you trying to wriggle out of even that? I'm just watching the pennies. I know. But for the sake of keeping the peace, it isn't like we're doing that badly. 49:20 I'm not saying we're flush or nothing, but with all the extra hours Helen's giving me in the run-up to Christmas, we can afford to split the cost of a couple of fence panels. 49:29 At the moment. 49:30 What do you mean? 49:31 You never know what the future holds. 49:33 The future? Should we not be gone? Do you not need to finish packing your apple fritters? 49:38 Never mind the ruddy fritters. There's something you ain't telling me. Jazzer, what is it? 49:47 Hang on, Susan. Let me clear a bit of space for you. 49:49 Oh, thank you, Alistair. Can you manage? That looks heavy. Oh, I'm fine, Denise. It's the dish. It's cast iron. 49:57 Oh, what's inside, though? Can I lift the lid? 50:00 Oh, of course. It's Malvern pudding. 50:04 Stewed apples with lemon zest topped with custard and caramelised sugar. Oh, custard. That's my weakness. 50:11 Smells great, too. Thank you. Where's Neil? You haven't left him at home. 50:16 Oh, um, he didn't feel like coming. He's had a busy day at work. He wanted to get an early night. Fair enough. 50:23 I haven't seen Alan here either. 50:25 Alan? 50:25 Yeah, he was in the ball a couple of nights ago. Said he was going to come. You haven't spotted him? 50:30 Me? No, no, I don't know where he is. 50:33 Sorry, I was asking Denise. 50:35 Oh, no, me neither. Maybe he's decided to stay away. I can't say I'd blame him. 50:41 I guess you know all about these accusations, Susan. 50:44 Oh... 50:45 That he stole money from Carol Tregoran? 50:48 No. 50:49 I mean, yes. I mean, I didn't know about it before. 50:53 What do you make of it? Do you think he could have done it? Apparently, the church is investigating. 51:00 I think it's best if I don't comment. 51:04 Oh. 51:04 So, you think he could have done, then? What? No, no, no. I just don't think we should speculate. 51:11 Well, good luck with that. Can't tell you the number of people who've mentioned it to me. 51:15 Hot topic of conversation round here. 51:17 Sorry, do you mind if I butt in? 51:18 Oh, Esme, not at all. 51:20 I thought I'd come and say hello. 51:21 Of course. We were just talking about the scandal with the vicar. 51:25 Excuse me, I just need to go and please try the more of them. 51:29 Yes, OK, Susan. He's always seemed nothing but nice to me. He let me hold my dance fit lessons in the church. And he was great with my dad's funeral. 51:38 Shula won't believe it when she hears... 51:40 Listen, I just wanted to say thank you again for Tuesday. 51:43 Oh. 51:43 I hope you didn't feel I was guilt-tripping you into not invoicing me. 51:47 I was just feeling so terrible about losing the cow. 51:49 No, no, it was the least we could do, wasn't it, Denise? 51:52 Absolutely. 51:53 Look, there's Josh. 51:55 Where? 51:56 Over by the bonfire. Have you seen him since he's been back, Esme? No, he looks different. 52:03 He's looking really... well... 52:08 So you're sure it's Neil or Hannah for the chop? 52:11 Aye. Martin said battle couldn't have fought to hang on to two managers. 52:15 How come you're worried then? 52:16 Because if Martin's making cuts, it's not going to stop there, is it? Who knows who else he's planning to get ready? 52:22 And when did he say this to you again? Three weeks ago? 52:25 Something like that. Why didn't you say anything? I didn't want to worry you, anyhow. Martin's warned me to secrecy. So what if he did? So he's going through the payroll deciding who to fire. I'm not going to give him an extra reason to put a line through my name, no, am I? Don't be such a toady. 52:39 If Martin's planning to fire you, he's going to do it anyway. Have you told Neil? No. 52:45 You haven't, have you? I wanted to. I've just been doing my nothing, keeping it to myself. 52:49 Tracy! 52:50 I just didn't know what else to do. 52:51 Well, here's Susan. You can tell her now. What? No, no, no. Susan, Jazza's got someone he needs to get off his chest. Why? 52:58 Was it him you spilt the beans to? Beans? What beans? As if you don't know. I don't. I ain't got a clue what you're on about. I'm talking about Alan. 53:08 Everyone knows. 53:13 Wow, Josh, you must have had such an amazing time. 53:16 It's been incredible. Everything's so different from how it is here. Oh, yeah? 53:20 How? 53:21 For a start, it's all just so much bigger. Brookfield has, what, 250 ewes? In Patagonia, I'll be out on my horse, Baio, shepherding a flock of 20,000 across this fast open step. 53:33 You were on horseback, like a proper gaucho. 53:36 That was me. So, what are your plans for the future? Are you definitely going back? 53:42 Or are you staying here? 53:44 I'm not sure. I'd assumed I'd be heading back. I've got a return ticket. 53:48 Right. 53:48 But that's not for another three weeks. 53:51 If I do decide to stay, though, I'm not going to think little anymore. No? 53:56 What do you think you might do? 53:58 Move into ostrich eggs, perhaps? 54:00 Well, maybe. Who knows? 54:03 Anyway, what about you, Esme? How are things going at Meadow Farm? 54:08 Yeah, things aren't brilliant. 54:10 No? 54:11 No. No. 54:13 You know what? I wasn't going to, but I might indulge in a pint of Grundy cider. 54:17 Oh, I'll come with you. 54:18 I could do with another thing. Can I get you to anything? No, I'm all right. 54:22 Thanks. Thank you, Alistair. 54:25 So, things are still hard. 54:27 I really hoped it would have started to turn round by now. 54:31 But if anything... 54:35 Forget it. 54:36 I don't want to start blowing on you. Don't mind. 54:40 Let's go and find somewhere quiet to talk. 54:45 Dad? You told Dad about it? If anything, you should be pleased, Susan. He said he might start attending church. He didn't think Alan had it in him. Oh, great. 54:55 And who do you think Usha's going to blame now? Well, if you didn't want word getting out, you shouldn't have told me. 55:00 All right, all right. What's done's done. You're pointing to starting a barney about it now. 55:04 Shut up, Jazza. You're in no position to talk about keeping secrets. What's that supposed to mean? Go on, Jazza. Tell her what Martin Gibson told you. Not more food. Oh, hi there, Alistair. 55:16 Not sure there's any more room on the table. 55:18 Ooh, what have you got in there? 55:20 Just fritters. What did Martin tell you? 55:24 Is it something to do with Barrow? 55:26 Barrow? 55:27 Aye, and it's nothing for Susan to worry about... 55:30 What's this about, Barrow? Nothing, nothing. 55:33 Well, it's obviously something. 55:36 What is it? 55:38 Gosh, look at the time. 55:40 Aren't they meant to be fireworks? 55:44 So why did you let him go? 55:46 It's a long story. 55:49 Basically, George badly hurt his wrist. When I realised how bad it was, I insisted he go off sick while I carried on paying him. 55:57 Right. 55:58 But then I found out that instead of resting up, he was working at Amber's dad's car showroom. 56:04 Of course he was. 56:06 Now, though, I'm wishing I'd given him a second chance. 56:11 Larry, his replacement, left a couple of weeks ago, and the new herdsman's fine. 56:18 But he just does the bare minimum. He doesn't help out the way George did. 56:21 Like helping himself to two wage packets? 56:25 I know. 56:27 But it gets so lonely on the farm. 56:29 Really must be if you're missing George Grundy. 56:33 That was a joke. 56:35 Not a good one. 56:36 No, I know. 56:38 At the moment, though, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Why I ever thought I could save the family farm. 56:45 Hey, come on. 56:46 Things can't be that bad. 56:47 You've no idea. 56:50 I had to have my best milker put down a couple of days ago because I've been putting off having a cut on her leg looked at. 56:56 I had to feed the herd winter fodder because the fields were so parched, so now I'm going to have to buy even more in. I don't even want to think how much that's going to cost. 57:06 I guess I'll just add it to all the other bills I've got stacking up. 57:09 Look. 57:10 It's not your fault. It was such a baking summer. You've just got to hang in there. 57:14 How long for? 57:16 It's over a year since Dad died. 57:19 In fact, tomorrow it'll be a year since his funeral. 57:24 What a train wreck that was. 57:25 Hey, come on. 57:26 Even then I managed to let him down. 57:28 It wasn't you. If that delivery driver hadn't burst in during your eulogy... 57:32 The point is, I tried to give him a good send-off and it was a mess. 57:37 And now I'm making an even bigger mess of the farm. 57:41 I wanted to save everything he'd worked for all those decades he'd spent lovingly breeding the herd I wanted to save my home and that's what you're doing you're farming a year isn't that long but it doesn't feel like my home anymore it feels like a nightmare sorry Josh I said I wasn't going to blub on you it's ok 58:11 Tell you what, why don't I come over? 58:14 See if there's anything I can do to help. I'm not saying I've got a silver bullet. 58:18 No. 58:19 But at least you wouldn't be dealing with it on your own. 58:23 I like that, Josh. 58:25 I like that very much. 58:29 Denise, hurry up. Come on then. Eddie's about to light the taper. 58:33 Yes, sir. 58:34 Where do you want to watch? There's a good spot over there. 58:37 Fine, whatever. 58:39 Yeah? 58:40 There's fireworks out there. 58:41 Wherever we stand, I don't think we're going to miss them. Jazza, Tracy, what aren't you telling me? 58:48 Look, there's Chelsea and Zina, but let's go and start with them. 58:51 Jazza, for goodness sake, Susan is family. Just tell her what Martin told you. 58:56 Look, it's not that I did any want to, it's just Martin made me promise, no. 59:02 You're scaring me now. Would one of you please just tell me what's going on? 59:10 Me and Martin were talking about how the bottom's dropped through the pig market. Beryl's going to survive. He's going to have to make some cuts. 59:18 And? 59:20 Well, go on, Jazzer. 59:24 That includes Neil. He could be out of your job. 59:35 Elizabeth, hi. 59:37 Oh, hello, Alan. 59:38 Can I help? I'd invite you inside. 59:40 Oh, no, no, no, thank you. I was just visiting Dad's grave. 59:43 Ah. 59:44 I'm not sure why, if I'm honest. I just popped in on Mum, and now I'm meant to be heading back to the hospital, but I think I just needed a quiet moment. 59:51 Well, I hope it helped. 59:53 I don't know if she mentioned it, but I bumped into Lily the other day. Oh, did you? I hear things are looking encouraging, and Vince has started Vizio. 60:00 Yes, that's right. 60:01 So how is he in himself? 60:03 Oh, he's still Vince, making the nurses laugh with his silly jokes. 60:06 I can imagine. 60:07 Yeah, at some point he's going to be moved to a specialist spinal injury rehabilitation centre. We're just waiting for a place to become free. 60:13 Well, you know, if there's anything Usha and I can do, you only have to ask. 60:17 That's very kind. Oh, tell Usha I'm sorry I haven't replied to her messages. I've been so wrapped up with everything, I hardly know if I'm coming or going. Of course. How are you both? 60:28 Did you manage to get through the storm unscathed? 60:30 Well, you know, can't complain. I had a few branches down, a bit of water came in the vestry at Pennyhasset. Nothing too serious, though. Oh, good. Certainly not compared to what you're going through. But honestly, Elizabeth, thanks for asking. We're doing fine. 60:47 Oh, Neil, out of the way. 60:48 I'm sorry. 60:50 No, no, the other way. 60:53 Oh, how is it? Wherever you stand, you're always in the wrong place. 60:57 Oh, I'll leave now if you want me to, Susan. 61:00 No, no, I just want to put my nice cast iron casserole dish back in the cupboard where it belongs. There we go. 61:08 Look, there's no point being angry with Jas. 61:12 Oh. 61:13 Even if Tracy hadn't made him tell you, I'm still not surprised Martin's thinking about cutting jobs. You can't open the trade press these days without reading about another big pig unit that's had to slash production. At least Martin isn't thinking about closing Barrow completely. 61:29 But he is thinking about firing you. 61:32 Martin's not going to fire me. Oh, he's not? No, he'd have to make me redundant. Oh. 61:39 And if it does happen, well, it might not be such bad timing. I'm not getting any younger. 61:45 What do you mean? 61:46 Well, maybe you haven't realised, but I am going to be turning 70 next year. No, no. And if it's a choice between a nice big redundancy check or retiring with nothing... Retiring? 61:59 I can't go on forever, Susan. 62:02 But how would we manage? Oh, we'd be fine. 62:04 Fine. Presumably you'd want to carry on working? 62:08 Well, yes. 62:09 And now the mortgage has finally paid off and I've got my pensions. Well, I know that, but... All I'm saying is being made redundant wouldn't be the end of the world. 62:18 Much better for an old bloke like me to get the chop than a youngster with their whole career ahead of them like Hannah. 62:25 In any case, nothing's been announced yet. No point fretting until it happens. 62:30 No. No. 62:31 But you could have a quiet word with Martin. 62:35 Find out if what Jazza is saying is true. 62:38 I am not going to do that. Martin would know then where it came from. But we'll just have to wait and see. That'll be Alan, come to pick me up. 62:51 I might have to give up work if I'm going to be chaperoning him around all the time. 62:55 Oh Neil, don't joke. I'm still furious with Tracy for gabbing about it to Dad. 63:00 Honestly, love, don't keep worrying about it. 63:07 Hopefully, I won't be more than a couple of hours. 63:13 Vince, put your phone down. All right, all right. 63:16 Just let me finish writing this message to Freddie. 63:19 What are you messaging Freddie for? I thought he only came in to see you this morning. 63:22 Oh, he did, but there were a couple of things I forgot to tell him. I'll be done in a second. 63:26 All right, OK. 63:28 Honestly, though, darling, you can't run the abattoir from your hospital bed. You're going to have to trust Freddie. 63:33 I do trust him, but he needs to know what he's supposed to be doing. Oh, Vince, come on. 63:40 There, done. It's sent. 63:45 Have they told you any more about the rehabilitation centre? 63:48 Like what? 63:49 Well, like how long they're expecting you to be there, what sort of things they'll be doing. 63:53 Hopefully they'll be getting me to walk again. 63:55 Yes, of course. But what will your daily regime be? Will there be psychological support? 64:00 Oh, yeah, can't wait to be sat round in a circle with 20 other blokes in wheelchairs. 64:05 Vince, there's no need to be like that. I'm only asking if anyone's spoken to you. 64:09 All right. I'm sorry, but... 64:12 Really, lover, I'm just a bit tired. 64:17 Tell me more about how things are going at Lower Locksley. 64:21 Not sure there's very much else to tell. 64:24 Their health and safety executive have given us the all clear, so we can definitely reopen the house tomorrow. 64:29 That's great news. 64:30 Oh, and Fallon's offered to take over the organising for Deck the Hall, so I'm very pleased. I know things haven't been comfortable between her and Lily since she started seeing Harrison. 64:40 No. 64:41 But it seems they're both being very mature about it. 64:45 Finn? What's the matter? Is it your back again? It's not my back. You can tell me if you're in pain, you know. It's not a sign of weakness. 64:51 Elizabeth. 64:52 All right, don't snap at me. 64:54 I'm not snapping, nothing. 64:57 Oh, God, quick, fetch a nurse. 65:03 Well, I'm sorry again for making you miss bonfire night. 65:07 Oh, no, don't worry. 65:09 Only missed a few fireworks. Susan filled me in with all the goings on. Well... 65:14 Pauline certainly appreciated the visit. 65:17 The way her face lit up when you walked in next to me. I should have gone home and left the two of you to it. Don't know about that, Alan. Main thing is she didn't question why I was there. Like I say, she was just happy to see you. 65:31 And I'm sure Terry will be, too, if he's awake. 65:35 What's the latest? Last thing I heard was that they're keeping him comfortable. He's not looking positive, though. 65:42 That's why I'm keen to visit him. Right. I see. 65:46 And just to let you know, Neil, the Archdeacon rang me yesterday regarding the incident with Anna. 65:53 Oh, yeah, right. 65:54 It wasn't one of the most pleasant conversations we've ever had. Oh, no? No. 66:00 That's... I think he understood that if anyone was in the wrong, it was Anna. 66:04 I don't know what you said to him. Well, I just told him what happened, that's all. I explained how Anna barged into the church, that I didn't know exactly what you'd said to Fallon, but it definitely wasn't your fault what people have heard about the investigation. From what I've seen, you've been doing your best to keep everything discreet. 66:23 Well, it's much appreciated, Neil. 66:26 When I saw Ray's number pop up, I thought that was it. I was going to be suspended. 66:31 So, thank you. 66:33 Well, I'm just trying to be fair to everyone. Yeah, of course, of course. 66:38 But I am still very grateful. 66:45 Thanks again. It's much appreciated. 66:50 How are you feeling now, Vince? Better? 66:53 Oh, great. 66:55 Look, there's no need to be embarrassed. It's what the nurses are here for. I know. You know, you've got a nice clean gown now and fresh new sheets. Can't think when my bed was last changed. It must be at least three weeks now. 67:06 Could you just stop talking about it, please? 67:09 Yes, of course. 67:11 I am. 67:13 I just don't want you to be ashamed. I know you're trying to put on a brave face. 67:18 I know you don't want me to see how much you're struggling. Elizabeth! But if we're going to face this together, we have to be honest with each other. 67:24 You want me to be honest? We have to be. All right. I'll be honest. 67:31 I just want to scream. 67:33 I want to smash everything up, but I can't because I can't move. 67:37 Instead, all I can do is stare at the ceiling while a stranger wipes me backside for me. 67:41 I know. 67:42 No, you don't. 67:43 You tell me not to feel embarrassed, but you ain't got the first idea. 67:47 Just get out. Vince, come on. I need some time on my own. All right, but... Didn't you hear me? I can't stand you looking at me. Just get out. 68:01 Well, I hope that wasn't too difficult for you, Neil. No, not at all. 68:04 These visits are never easy. 68:05 No, actually, I felt quite honoured to be there. Why, you just sat with Terry and cried. Even though he wasn't necessarily aware of it, you could feel a peace in the room. 68:17 Well, situations like that, all you can do is be present and hold them in the love of God. Well, you most certainly did that. Hey, can I buy you a tea or a coffee? Oh, tea would be lovely. Great. It's this way, I think. Oh, Elizabeth. Sorry, I nearly bumped into you. 68:31 Alan. 68:32 You everything all right? 68:35 No, not really. 68:37 Oh, hello, Neil. 68:38 What's the matter? Something happened with Vince? 68:41 He's just struggling a lot today. He can do so little for himself. 68:46 He needs help with pretty much everything and he finds it so humiliating. 68:50 Right, of course. 68:51 And the person he finds it hardest with is me. 68:55 I've just been sat in the coffee shop for the last hour or so because he shouted at me to get out. 69:00 Oh, Elizabeth. 69:02 I was heading back up to the ward now, although I'm not sure if he's expecting me back. He might have assumed I'd gone home. I don't know. 69:09 I'm sure he'd be glad you haven't. 69:12 Would you go up and see him, Alan? 69:14 Well, no. 69:15 Yeah, he just needs someone to talk to who isn't me, or one of his daughters, or a medic. Someone he can have a man-to-man conversation with. 69:25 I don't know. I mean, whatever I say is useless. It might really help. 69:28 Of course, of course. That's fine, Elizabeth. I can talk to him. 69:31 Well, thank you. Shall I show you where the ward is? 69:33 Yes, I think you better. This place is like a maze. 69:36 Oh, Neil, I'm sorry. I just meant Alan. I don't think Vince is up to seeing more than one person. 69:42 That's OK. Neil, you can stay here. No, I can't. I have to come with you. I really think it's fine. Vince isn't even a parishioner. It doesn't matter. It's still a one-to-one visit. Oh, come on, Neil. This is silly now. 69:54 Sorry, what's the problem? 69:56 It's nothing. Which way are we going? Alan, I can't let you visit Vince unless I accompany you. 70:02 Why can't he? I don't understand. 70:03 Neil is acting as my chaperone. A complaint has been made against me. While it's being investigated, I have to have someone with me whenever I have contact with a vulnerable individual. 70:16 Are you sure Vince would object to Neil coming up with me? I mean, he'd just be sitting off to one side. 70:20 No, never mind. I'm sorry I asked. No, no, no. No, I hadn't realised. Elizabeth! 70:25 Oh, I'm sorry. 70:29 I don't want to be such a stickler, but after what happened with Anna... 70:32 It's all right. You're just doing your job, Neil. Look, do you mind if we skip the cafe, though? I could do with getting home. 70:42 Vince? 70:44 Elizabeth, I thought you'd gone... 70:46 No, I'm still here. 70:49 I've just been downstairs. 70:50 Well, you can go now. 70:53 Vince... 70:53 I mean it. 70:56 You must have loads to do at Lower Locksley. No point wasting all your time here with me. 71:01 I'd rather be on my own anyhow. 71:03 Yeah, but... 71:03 Please. 71:05 I've had most of my decisions taken away from me. This is one I can still make. 71:09 All right, if that's how you feel. 71:13 I'll go. 71:15 Shall I see you tomorrow? 71:18 Vince? 71:21 Well, can I at least give you a goodbye kiss? 71:25 I see. 71:28 I guess I'll just leave then. 71:31 I do still love you, Vince. 71:34 Bye. 72:08 Bye. 72:38 Hello, I'm Alan Davis and I'm back on BBC Radio 4 to meddle with the universe on Life Without. I take one thing away and science tells me what I've broken. 72:48 They eat about 2,000 insects a night for a tiny bat. Like you just imagine the sky is going to fall off things which might want to eat you. 72:57 So keep bats noted. And for some of my guests, life without isn't a world I've invented. 73:03 I work with children with developmental amnesia who do have a life without memory. 73:08 Join me for Life Without to find out just how much chaos one missing thing can cause. Subscribe to Life Without on BBC Sounds.