Frank Off The Radio: The Frank Skinner Podcast

00:00 It's Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio. 00:07 It's the Frank Skinner Podcast, don't you know? 00:09 Ow, ow, ow. 00:16 Welcome to Frank off the radio. 00:20 I don't even have the laminate thing that I read out at the beginning of the podcast. 00:24 Oh, what's that? Does that have all your information on it? 00:27 All my information. Let's see what I can remember. This is Frank off the radio with Emily Dean and Ruth Hosko. That's it. If you want to email us, there's an email address. And if you want to WhatsApp us, what about this? 00:56 What I liked was Sandy the produce was going to leave and get the information. When I said there's an email address, that'll do it. 01:03 Well, I think I can remember it. I think it's frankofftheradioavalonuk.com. 01:08 Okay. 01:08 Okay. 01:09 Well done, you. 01:12 Yeah. 01:13 I mean, I don't say it that often. 01:17 Only four times a week. 01:18 It's not your world, email addresses and things. You're a creative, darling. 01:22 Every time I see an at symbol, I think of a Cumberland sausage to this day. 01:27 Do you not like an at symbol? 01:29 I don't mind, yeah. I like a Cumberland sausage. In case there's anyone from Cumberland getting opportunity thinking, how dare you? 01:36 Cumberland sausage is a big commitment, though. Do you know what I mean? It's so vast. 01:42 What I like about a sausage is, oh, I'll have one, maybe I'll have another. Cumberland sausage, it's like eight at once. 01:47 I like the circular nature of it. 01:50 Oh, it reminds me of unspeakable things. I can't compare it. 01:53 I microwave one once and I gazed through the window at it and I was hypnotised for three days. 02:06 Very hypnotic, the Cumberland sausage. 02:11 Yeah, that'd be great. Imagine having to explain that in court. 02:16 Can you imagine? 02:17 I'd be hypnotized by Cumberland sausage. 02:22 I've been in Birmingham for three days, so it's really brought at me. It's brought at me black country more then. 02:28 Do you get more black country when you've been out there? Do you find that real? 02:31 I went out with our Keith. 02:33 Oh, how is our Keith? Oh, lovely. 02:35 He's great, but he gets more black. I mean, he's very black country anyway, and I get more black country when I'm with him, and then I think he chases me. LAUGHTER And we end up going to like, it gets really like medieval. 02:54 What do you do with our Keith? Do you go for dinner together? 02:57 We went, well, what we did was I was with Buzz as well, my child. So we picked Keith up. 03:04 From his flat? Yeah. 03:06 He waits outside so he doesn't want to sit in the flat. Why is that? I don't know. Okay. I think maybe he has the severed heads of several locals suspended from the ceiling. 03:18 I think that's quite a black country Birmingham thing. It is, yeah. 03:20 Don't come in there. 03:22 Always standing waiting on the doorstep. 03:23 Yeah, exactly. 03:25 Do you think because maybe the place, it's not, you know, looking how you want it to or it's more of a talk? No, I feel like it's maybe a sign of respect. 03:35 It's like, you're ready. Exactly. You're not messing around. 03:38 Yeah, he had that hat on and everything. He was all set. But we went out and I said, what's up to your teeth? 03:45 You said that to him. 03:47 Yeah, there was five. No, but they weren't yellow. They were absent. 03:53 There was the bottom setting. There was nothing at the front at all. There was five or six teeth. 03:57 I said, what's up to your teeth? Oh. 03:59 He said, oh, fell over and fell flat on me face and I knocked, I think it was five teeth out. 04:07 I said, wow, when are you getting them done? 04:10 He said, oh, I ain't going to bother. 04:14 Oh, OK. 04:15 He said they're fine. 04:16 They're not present. How can they be fine? They no longer exist. 04:23 No, so he's leaving it. He's leaving it at that. 04:26 I sort of have a kind of admiration for that in a strange way. 04:30 Well, I don't know. I don't want him to not look after himself. 04:35 You can't have Arkeith getting veneers, Frank. I don't want him going off to Turkey like Rylan. 04:40 I'm not suggesting he gets veneers. I'm thinking he could get a little bit of fencing. 04:45 Does he do much chewing? 04:46 But wouldn't. Does he do much chewing? Yeah. You know, that's the one question I've never asked him. 04:51 Because he might not need him if he has mainly soup-based things. 04:54 No, what do you think? What do you think? He has soup-based things. He's not that old. 04:59 He's not Ray, my dog. 05:01 No. 05:02 I'm just saying he wasn't in a hurry to get him back, was he? Was it noticeable when he spoke then that the bottom teeth, some people it's not as noticeable, is it? 05:10 No, it was very noticeable. Yeah, exactly. 05:15 It was like, yeah, it was a real absence of teeth in the front of his mouth. 05:22 You know, he looked well apart from that, but he said, I've lost weight. I said, that's the teeth. 05:31 I don't know how much teeth white, but you can write that off for a start off. 05:36 Yes, I know what you mean. It's kind of like having the permanent presence of absence in your mouth, isn't it? 05:41 The presence of absence. What a beautiful term of phrase. 05:44 Okay, and now we're talking about Keith's teeth. 05:47 Yeah. Anyway, what else? 05:50 Well, I'll tell you what else, Frank. We've heard from Ruth Jordan, and I miss this. 05:55 The morning sun shunned down. Go on. 05:59 And I'm gutted that I miss this because Ruth has said it was so lovely to see Frank on Sunday brunch, especially as I thought he'd upset them last time and would never be allowed on again. I hope Frank enjoyed the food and had his trusty toothpicks with him. And she was also very excited that by a certain other guest who appeared alongside you. 06:26 Yes. 06:26 I didn't know you were doing Sunday brunch. 06:28 Well, you know, I don't like to brag. 06:30 You don't like to Melvin. 06:32 No. 06:34 So, yeah, Giles Brandreth was on. So I did ask him... You didn't? ..what he does in the heatwave as far as jumpers. 06:42 Absolutely mortificado. You did not. 06:45 He was evasive, basically. 06:47 What did he say? 06:48 I don't remember what he said, actually. Oh, really? 06:51 He didn't like it. 06:52 It was a bit like asking Batman something like that. LAUGHTER 06:56 Do you wear underpants? 06:57 Oh, you're actually contacted by the commissioner. 07:01 There's some things that need to stay, you know, under the desk. 07:06 Did you not get a sense whether he listened to... Well, no, he don't listen to this. 07:13 It was a weird show. 07:15 I enjoyed it. I always liked Sunday Brunch. 07:17 So who are the presenters again? Is it Matt, Sunday Brunch? No, that's Saturday Kitchen. I get confused. 07:23 It's Simon Rimmer and... 07:27 And Tim... Vincent. 07:29 Lovejoy. No. Tim Lovejoy. 07:31 Lovejoy. Tim Vincent. Wow. 07:33 I said Tim Vincent, Frank. What was he? Blue Peter in the 90s, maybe? He was. I think he was, yeah. When you said Lovejoy, I thought you were getting confused with Ian McShane, but you're right. Anyway, how was Lovejoy? 07:44 Lovely. It's a very pleasant show. Ricky Wilson was on and... 07:50 Oh, yes, he's the young boy from the Kaiser Chiefs, isn't he? 07:54 Anyway, so towards the end, I don't know. You know, one thing about Sunday brunch, I don't know if you know, well, you do know people who have done live television. There's one thing that's universally said. Oh, it just goes by like, that's unbelievable. No one has ever said that about Sunday brunch. 08:12 Oh, really? 08:13 No. No. 08:14 It is. It's so long. It's pleasant. But you do sort of... You go native a bit. 08:22 Really? 08:22 Yeah, pretty soon. I was sprinkling a bit of seasoning. 08:26 Yeah, because I bet you get there early and then you've got to do hair and make-up. 08:33 Well, that don't take long. Oh, does it not? No. 08:36 Just a jab with a puff. 08:37 But anyway... 08:39 But anyway, I was... 08:43 Towards the end, I think I got a bit stir-crazy. 08:46 Oh, did you? 08:47 So Stephen Mangum was on the show. He's a lovely man. He's a lovely man, but he did replace me on the art. 08:54 Of course, Frank. 08:55 So Tim Lovejoy says, so Stephen replaced you on the thing. 09:01 He didn't. 09:02 And I said, yeah, he did. I said, you know, it was... 09:07 It was complicated. And it just, it's something you never see. You said it was complicated. You never see on daytime telly. I just forgot I was on telly, basically. 09:16 What did you say? 09:17 I just said, I think by that stage on the production, I was universally hated. 09:23 Sorry, you said this on Sunday brunch? 09:25 Yeah. 09:25 What did everyone say? 09:26 And then Tim, a bit more, I elaborated, and then Tim said, last time you were on, you were talking about being sacked by the radio station. Thanks for that. Let's go the whole hog on that. He said, who replaced you on that? So I said, who replaced me? 09:42 Yeah. 09:43 And I said, don't worry, him and Mangan are both on the list. 09:48 I thought you said you had a nice time. 09:50 And then we talked about Room 101 getting going. 09:56 Oh, my God. I can't watch this. I can never, ever watch this. 10:00 I said I'd ask the head of the BBC what they'd put in Room 101. And they said, you. 10:07 And that was the end of that. 10:09 So it ended with... That's all we've got time for, everyone. Thank you to Bank Skinner. 10:15 It was actually very liberating. It just poured out of me. And... 10:20 It's not the confession box. So people were looking at me like, is he all right? Is he having a break down? 10:27 It's like that network. 10:28 And then a little voice to my left, Giles, said, I'd really like you to come on my podcast. And I said to him, no, I like them podcasts where I get to talk as well. 10:45 And then the show ended. Oh, my God. 10:48 Oh, my God. 10:50 It was like a sort of scorched earth policy. 10:55 I can't believe this. 10:57 I cannot believe this. 10:59 I'm sure it's available online. 11:01 Oh, I'm going to watch that, yeah. 11:03 Yeah. 11:04 I think I'm going to have to take some Tramadol if I'm going to watch that. 11:08 Oh, Frank, why do you... Don't mention Tramadol to me. 11:11 Why? 11:12 Why? 11:14 Was that something else you talked about on Sunday brunch? 11:17 No, I was in Birmingham this week and I took my son to see my star. 11:22 Oh, did you? How was it? 11:23 But of course, now that they've got the trams and they had to change all the pavements, it's gone. 11:28 They've got rid of your star? It's torn up. Has it? I thought it was still there. 11:31 It's like Pop World. 11:32 Gone, gone and never called me mother. 11:36 Have they still got Noddy Holder's star? 11:38 There's very few left. I think there's the archers. Filch. Filch is still there. 11:43 They should tell you if they're going to get rid of your star. I mean, they can't do that. They've got to put them back. 11:48 No, it was very disappointing. 11:50 You've done so much for that country. 11:52 Yeah. So I ended up taking my... 11:54 I'm referring to the black country. I'm not calling Birmingham a country. 11:59 So I took my son to Birmingham to basically show him the tram. 12:03 Oh, Frank. Has he been to Birmingham before? 12:05 Well, that was another thing that happened on Sunday brunch. I was talking to a woman. 12:07 Oh, sorry, because there wasn't enough. 12:09 A woman who worked on the show was saying, oh, I've got my... 12:14 A partner lives near you, blah, blah. And I said, or his family lives near you. I said, I know that family. They're related to Lord Lucan, the murderer bloke. 12:27 You called him the murderer bloke? 12:29 Yeah, and she said, I don't think they are. I said, no, no, they are. And then I thought, oh, perhaps you're not supposed to know this. 12:37 Frank, who's that kind of dad? Do you know what I mean? 12:42 It was that kind of day. 12:43 I mean, if I said... 12:45 Anyway, the next time I go on, I get a gold mug. So that's something I look forward to. 12:52 Oh, my God. 12:54 I think my favourite, I mean, I don't even know how to unpick this, but it's you saying to Giles Brandren, I quite like to talk. 13:05 No, I'm not going on your podcast. 13:08 I didn't know he had one, Giles. Yes, he has. It's called Rosebud. 13:11 It's about childhood. 13:12 It's called Rosebud in honour of Citizen Kane, I assume, Frank. 13:17 Oh, and Nicola Benedetti was on as well, the violinist. 13:21 Lovely. How did you get on with Nicola Benedetti? 13:23 I asked her of that thing. You know that bog bear of mine about... Oh, no. 13:28 Oh, no, you didn't. 13:29 That thing that at the end of an opera, the biggest applause goes to the orchestra and they're the only ones who couldn't be arsed to learn it. 13:38 Please tell me you didn't say that to me. 13:39 Oh, I said that. 13:41 She said, you know, they're very busy or something like that. Oh, my God. She was nice. She was sticking up for a mate. 13:46 Why do you do these things? 13:48 She's an expert. I have to say she was lovely. She was the sort of person you felt you could be open with and ask a question. 13:55 Well, you certainly fulfilled on that promise. 13:58 Exactly. Pretty much, the police still pursuing Lord Lucan arrived at the back of the kitchen. LAUGHTER 14:06 That poor woman has gone home and said, what's this about Lord Luggan? 14:10 I know, that'll be terrible. 14:12 Look, we've kept this from you for 35 years. 14:16 Oh, no. 14:17 The chaos, the chaos you've caused, Frank. 14:20 Well, like, that was just, you know, local history. 14:26 Anyway, Ruth Jordan, that is how Sunday brunch was. 14:32 Yes, exactly. It was, yeah. 14:34 In response to your question. 14:36 And also on Giles' podcast, if it's called Rosebud, he had a jumper that had a rose on. 14:42 He did. 14:42 So he's doing some subtle promotion there. Oh, yeah. It's by stealth. Yeah. Because I thought, oh, what's the meaning of this? But now I know. 14:49 Did you actually think, what is the meaning? 14:52 I did because his jumpers are always sort of related to a theme in my mind. He loves a Winnie the Pooh jumper, doesn't he? He loves teddy bears. 15:01 Yeah, he loves teddy bears. 15:03 What's the subliminal message in that? 15:05 I think with Winnie the Pooh, he likes the history of it. 15:07 Incontinent. 15:08 Oh, my God. 15:11 He's wearing t-shirts one size too small. 15:14 He's got some sort of associations with Winnie the Pooh. He knows a lot about the history of A.A. Milne. He's got connections with A.A. Milne. 15:22 He'll be related to the Milne. 15:24 But there must come a point. 15:25 Or maybe he's just in the A.A. 15:29 But there must be a point when Giles Brandreth gets dressed where he's just got the jumper on but no pants. Oh, I don't want to say that. 15:36 Why must there be a point? I think that depends on the chronology of his robing. 15:42 Giles would always put that on last. 15:45 I imagine he wears knitted pants with... 15:48 Crochet pants. Crochet pants. 15:53 Yeah. 15:55 You had knitted pants as a baby, didn't you? 15:57 Yeah, I think his genitals are like one of them post boxes that have their scenes. No. 16:04 Absolutely not. 16:05 Oh, well, stop there. Stop right there. He was very nice. It was a very enjoyable experience, the whole show. 16:12 It really sounds it. 16:13 Well, I enjoyed it. 16:15 Let's ask them how they felt. 16:18 They shouldn't keep feeding me, keep my energy levels up. 16:21 Otherwise, I'd have faded about eight weeks to go. 16:24 They should make the show shorter as well, so people don't go. 16:28 It's lucky they didn't have Gumbel and Sausage. I'd have been saying all sorts of things. Oh, my, oh, my. 16:47 We've heard some other outside world, but I kind of want to know what's been going on with Ruth as well. Yeah, shall I? 16:53 Oh, I'm not bothered about it. 16:54 Oh, Frank, please. 16:55 I'm not bothered about talking about it. Have you not ruined enough lives this week? You've ruined lives. That's what Kathy said. You've ruined lives. What I love about when Kathy say that, when I tell people that story, It never fails to get a laugh. Because it was about something so minor. Like you had an argument about you being forced to hold some seats for her and Rachel. 17:15 That's what it was, yeah. 17:16 And you said, I've been standing here for ages waiting for you. And Kathy's response was, you've ruined lives. 17:22 Yeah. 17:23 I love her. 17:24 I wish you wouldn't talk to other people. 17:27 Listen to gossip. 17:30 You ruined life. She just held up a shot of Giles Brandworth in tears. 17:36 Stephen Mangan looking visibly shaken. 17:38 Oh, man. 17:41 Oh, God. There's only one thing I want to talk about from my week, is that I want to talk about the quiet coach in the train. 17:49 Okay. 17:50 Because I was at Kings Heath Comedy Festival this weekend. 17:54 Were you performing? 17:55 I did a DJ set. I don't perform. 17:58 You did a DJ set? 17:59 What, like Fatboy Slim DJ? 18:01 Well, like... You hold one hand in the air. I in the air. 18:05 Avicii. 18:06 And I did that. I put my hand to my earphone. 18:09 Everybody's doing the DJ set, aren't they? 18:12 Yeah. I've done it three years on the trot. 18:15 I remember showing a clip of Boy George doing a DJ set on the chat show I did and I asked a professional DJ what he thought and he said he looked like he was washing up. 18:29 I bet he looked just like a floating head because he had all his neck painted black. 18:33 He doesn't do that anymore. He doesn't do the black. 18:35 That's great contouring though. But anyway, so I did that and then I had to get the train back and I was in the quiet carriage. And for me, I think it should be silent carriage. What are your thoughts? I don't think people should be allowed to talk in there. 18:49 I don't see the difference between people talking and talking on the phone. 18:53 I agree. Yeah. 18:55 People talk a bit louder, maybe, on the phone. 18:59 I find the phone calls far more irritating. And the reason for that is if I'm going to have to listen to you, I'd like to make sense of what you're saying. Just hearing one person is very irritating. 19:10 Oh, I like it. It's like watching Theatre of the Absurd. 19:15 I like to, when I hear them actually press, you know, to speak, I like to shout, he's on the train! Get it in before they say it. 19:26 Also, if they're having an affair and they're lying. 19:28 Well, what about that one who said I'm in a restaurant when I was on the train? 19:33 I saw a woman walking down the street the other day saying... Oh, God, you and your anecdotes. 19:38 Peter Euston off. And she was on the phone saying, oh, I'm at Highbury and Islington Station now. And she wasn't. She was about a 20-minute walk. Well, she was by the Arsenal Stadium. She was nowhere near. Sorry, it's a bit London-centric, this. And I wanted to go, she's lying to you. She's not going to be there for another 20 minutes. 19:55 Nosy black country. Yeah, I am really nosy. 19:58 I wonder what you're going to say. 20:01 No, I'm really happy I have to keep doing this black country thing now. I can't say Birmingham anymore. 20:07 No, you can. It's just that we're not from there. Okay. 20:11 Well, I was in Birmingham doing... I was interviewing Tony Iommi. 20:17 I've got an anecdote about him as well. 20:19 Hold on, let me show the back of my T-shirt. Go on, let's have a look. 20:23 Yeah, you can turn around. Oh, it says I owe me in gothic red lettering. 20:30 It's the only way to write I owe me. 20:32 It says from the dark. 20:33 So I was interviewing Tony I owe me in the jewellery quarter. 20:39 OK, lovely. 20:40 At a pub called The Actress and the Bishop. Yeah, I know it well, yeah. So when I got there, I said to someone outside, because I got off by Black Sabbath Bridge so me and boss could have some photos and stuff of Black Sabbath Bridge, and then we walked along the canal. 20:59 So someone said to me, which way did you come when I got there? And I said, oh, we walked along the cot. And they said, what? And I thought, I'm in Birmingham now. Because the cot is the canal. 21:11 Oh, why do you call it the cot? 21:13 I don't know, because it cuts through the landscape. 21:16 Oh, I see. I don't know if it is that, but I like the sound of it. I didn't want to stop your flow, but I'm really sorry, Frank. I'm very embarrassed to admit I don't know who Tony Iommi is. 21:25 He's the lead guitarist for Black Sabbath. 21:29 Okay. And are they from Birmingham? 21:31 They're very much from Birmingham. There's a pub called The Crown, which we also went to look at, which is now closed down. But there's a sign that says the birthplace of heavy metal. And it was Sabbath's first gig, wasn't it? 21:44 You know, he's a total... And that was the one Ozzy Osbourne was in Black Sabbath? 21:48 Yes, exactly. 21:48 OK, great, I understand. 21:50 So I was interviewing him. And do you remember I told you I'd interviewed... I'd gone to see Kirk Hammett, the Metallica guitarist, and somebody asked him how many guitars he'd got, and he looked a bit sheepish and said 492. LAUGHTER So I told Tony this story. It's Tony now, my mate. 22:14 And I said, yeah, Kirk Hammett's got 492 guitars. How many have you got? 22:21 And he looked even more sheepish than Kirk Hammett and said, I've only got 80. 22:32 What a world it is. 22:34 I've only got 80. 22:35 The legendary guitarist has to apologise for having 80 guitars. But I mean, compared to Kirk, I mean. 22:44 But, you know, I don't know how much... I'll give you a brief thing then. So he's absolutely iconic guitarist. They call him the godfather of heavy metal and all that. But just before... He was about to go on tour with... Before Sabbath, early days... And he worked in a sort of sheet metal company, and he chopped the ends off the two middle fingers of his left hand, of his right hand, sorry. And he's left-handed, so that's what he would finger his chords with. So most people would have said, that's my career. 23:16 Apparently, he pulled the ends off and said, oh, this one, oh, I hate going on two of them. And so he said, what I did, I melted, I don't know if I can dubber on me, I'll do them as black cord. think you'll do all right he said so i um i melted some uh fairy liquid bottles and put them on the end and met them and then i got cut some bits out of me leather jacket so it got a bit of purchase i said to you know when people throw their their guitar picks into the audience have you ever on a real heady night chop one of your fingers in 23:51 He's very ingenious. He should give Yarkies some tips for his teeth. 23:55 But in his book, he comes over as the sensible one. He makes them get to the rehearsals at nine o'clock. But then you get bits like, and then I set Bill Ward, the drummer, on fire, and he fell over in terrible pain. 24:08 He said he was on the floor screaming. He said, I don't know what it was. I still put a bit more lighter fuel on him. 24:14 They painted him as well, didn't they? And he went into shock. They used to do things to him all the time. Oh, so he's had a tough few years. But what's brilliant? 24:21 I've been so sad when Ozzy dies. 24:22 Tony Iami now always wears light blue glasses, light blue lenses. 24:27 I know the type. 24:28 Yeah. And they've brought, his new album is coming out, Out of the Dark. It is called Out of the Dark. It's on my back. 24:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah. From the Dark. From the Dark. 24:36 Yeah, From the Dark. I thought that was wrong. From the Dark, yeah. 24:39 Yeah. 24:40 And one of, you know, they bring out like coloured vinyl. They're bringing out a see-through blue vinyl called The Eyeglass. 24:48 Oh, very good. 24:49 Of course, I booked, I said to her, I've already booked the prescription once. 24:57 But it was great. I can't tell you, I was like a pig in shit. 25:01 Oh, Frank. And Buzz must have liked it. 25:04 Oh, Buzz loved it. Buzz had his photos up with him and chatted to him and all that. 25:09 He's got quite a collection, Buzz. It was great. He's got Buzz Aldrin, the Pope, Tony Iommi. 25:14 And what made me feel even better was that his star has been ripped off off the street. 25:20 See? 25:23 You've got a story about Tony Iommi. Can I tell you one really weird anecdote, which I didn't know you might know? 25:28 About Tony Iommi? 25:29 Yeah, you wrote the Armenian Eurovision Song Contest entry one year. No, I didn't know. Most unlikely bloke. 25:39 You know who I'd like to see? If Tony Iommi has a partner, I'd like to see what that partner looks like, because I've got thoughts. 25:46 Oh, go on. What's your guess? 25:47 I'm imagining a bit Annie Nightingale. God rest her soul. Do you know what I mean? A lot of blonde hair. 25:51 She's Swedish. 25:52 Yes, Swedish. That's what I was hoping for. That's exactly what I was hoping for. Okay, are we looking her up? What were you going to say about Tony Iommi? 25:59 It's not much of an anecdote like many of mine, but I went for a job interview in The Ball Ring maybe 10 years ago, and I was in the management suite, and Tony Iommi walked in, And I thought, oh, I know who that is. And I had to get up to leave the room and he went to the door and I held the door open for me like a true gem. 26:19 Oh, don't tell me, two of his fingers fell off. 26:23 They're stuck to the door. A bloody girl. And I thought, what a lovely man. 26:27 He is, he is. It was, I have to say. You know when you meet someone that you're slightly in awe of and they're nice? 26:34 Yeah. 26:34 Because we had to be interviewed by Nina Narna first. 26:38 Okay. 26:38 You know, the well-known backing vocalist. Yeah. 26:42 Do you know Nina Nonna? 26:42 I mean, I love it. You've told me about Nina Nonna. What did you say? 26:47 Saturday night. 26:48 When it starts, it goes, Nina Nonna. 26:51 You can't do that. She's a journalist. 26:55 Yes, I know who that is. 26:56 So she interviewed us to start with, and then I was due to interview him after. And at the end of his interview, I said to him, thanks for keeping all the good stuff for my interview. 27:09 Oh, Frank, you've done it again. 27:12 Oh, man, it was great. We had such a great day. We went and saw Ozzy the bull. 27:17 Oh, yeah, people flock from miles around. 27:19 There's this giant mechanical bull. 27:21 Is it named after Ozzy Oz? 27:22 Yeah, and they've put, you know all these circular shades? 27:25 Yeah, and they've put book shades on them. 27:26 They've put them on him. 27:27 Oh, my God, I want to go there just to see the bull. 27:29 I'll show you pictures. It looks great. Poor old Ozzy has to represent that. 27:34 About three months ago, they had a Peaky Blinders cap on it. 27:38 Oh, yeah. 27:39 All Birmingham themes, it has to come. 27:43 Poor Aussie being wheeled out for anything Birmingham. 27:48 Oh, man. Poor Aussie. 27:49 I'm so glad you enjoyed that. 27:51 We went to... Sorry, I'm completely taken off with this. 27:54 It's IOMI. You don't meet IOMI every day of the week. 27:57 No, you don't. There's an Aussie exhibition at the museum. Weirdly, there's a massive Lucifer in Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery, which I saw as a kid. I only went there once as a kid. I think it was a school. Tremendous penis it's got. 28:18 Can I just clarify, Frank uses Tremendous in the sort of literary tradition, by the way, not in appraising. 28:23 No, no, it's gargantuan. 28:27 And I remembered as a kid, I hadn't seen it for years, and... 28:32 I remember it has been like 20 foot high, this statue. 28:36 And then when I went back when I was like in my early 20s, it was in the tea room. And it was about, I don't know, eight feet. But anyway, now it's in a prominent position where it's brilliant. It's a brilliant thing, if a bit terrifying. But they've got it. I don't know if it's accidental. It's outside the Aussie exhibition, as if Lucifer is welcoming you into the Prince of Darkness. So hang on, Lucifer. 29:06 Is Lucifer traditionally depicted naked? 29:09 I don't know. I've never seen him in clothes. 29:12 What clothes does Lucifer wear? 29:14 Well, in this, he's wearing a very sort of frontless skirt. 29:20 Which you don't see every day. 29:22 It's so tacky. Doesn't he usually have fur legs? Oh, no, that's Mr Tumnus. 29:27 Oh, yeah. He's not Lucifer. 29:30 He's mischievous and a bit puck-like and playful. I would not describe him as evil. 29:34 I like that inviting strange children back to your house is now seen as mischievous. 29:41 And a bit puck-like. 29:43 Boz is also obsessed with Linkin Park. Is he? We were at Black Sabbath Bridge. 29:51 Yes. 29:51 And I said, that's the Utilita Centre over there, which is an arena, Utilita Arena. I played that, so I was showing off. 30:00 And he said... Oh, no. What? 30:02 That's where Chester did his last ever gig. And Chester Bennington, who was the lead singer, that was it. So we went down there and we saw another guy who'd got a Linkin Park top on. I said, I bet he's here to pay homage to Chester as well. 30:18 Did you speak to him? 30:19 So I went up and I said, you're here for Chester. He said, what? 30:23 I said, you're a big Linkin Park fan. He said, no, I've just got this in Primark. 30:30 Oh, it was a Ramones situation. 30:32 That's true. Primark never got so many band shirts. They have. 30:35 They've got so many. They've got System of a Down t-shirts in there, which surprised me. 30:39 I know. I got Buzz a cracking Bon Jovi baseball cap from the one in Birmingham. 30:46 Yeah, I've got a Pantera baseball cap from there. Now I'm into the caps. 30:49 Oh, I love Pantera. 30:51 Well, I've got a baseball cap saying which aren't energy. Yeah, I've moved over. I've transitioned to the baseball cap life. 30:58 Well, I'll tell you what we did. They had platinum records of Ozzy. 31:02 And, look, Boz said, look at that. There's only four tracks on this side, but there's five. You can see five tracks on the actual album. And, you know, often the thing that they paint gold or silver or platinum is just any albums they've got left over. 31:18 Yes. 31:18 Because there's a story. The Rolling Stones got absolutely arse old one night, decided to play one of their gold records, and it was Buddy Holly's greatest hits. 31:31 Anyway, sorry. 31:33 We should probably go outside one. Shall we? Yeah. Well. I've talked too long. I apologise. 31:37 You haven't talked too long. 31:38 At least I haven't given away any massive family secrets. 31:42 No, you haven't insulted anyone or criticised them. 31:44 I haven't said anything Lucanian. 31:47 What I would say is you haven't ruined any lives thus far. 31:50 No, that's good. 31:51 Jonathan has got in touch. Dear Frank, Emily and Ruth, greetings from the Midlands. 31:57 I know it isn't a nature documentary and I was planning to let Emily off the hook for calling gorillas monkeys. You know, recently on the podcast, I do apologise. I've already apologised to the entire ape community. I was talking about Robin Williams. 32:11 What did they say? 32:13 That's exactly what they said, probably enough. Were you listening? Yeah. I was referring to Coco the gorilla who befriended Robin Williams and a lot of other celebrities. 32:25 I've done a lot of charity work for the chimpanzee community. 32:28 Have you? 32:28 Yeah, I started Pink Arse Day. Well, you have a big pink arse on the grill of your car. Why do you have to ruin my things? Children have to clip them on. 32:40 So disgusting, honestly. 32:43 Talking about a very wholesome subject. 32:44 See, I didn't know that. Yeah, so it was my fault. I was unable to help. 32:48 My bad, I know. I referred to Coco incorrectly. I started calling her a gorilla and then I got overexcited and I called her a monkey. 32:57 I do apologise. There was no malice in it. 33:00 No. Jonathan has let me off the hook, fortunately, my kind of guy. But then Frank came out with a statement that gorillas were more brutal than chimpanzees. 33:13 I felt I had a duty towards the public to set that straight. Perhaps one day your life may depend on it, Frank. Gorillas are mostly very gentle and eat celery. 33:25 Chimpanzees can be so violent that I'm told zookeepers would prefer to be locked in a cage with the lions than with the chimps. Or a man. They have teeth like a lion. 33:36 I presume you're not told that by the zookeepers. 33:38 They're relatives. 33:42 They have teeth like a lion and an utterly terrifying temper and intelligence. 33:48 Elvis had one and it went wild. It got very long-haired. 33:52 I don't know why I find that so funny. 33:54 So they had to shut it in a room until someone could come and... 33:58 They got long-haired, what, because it was the 70s? 34:00 I got long-haired, I don't know, yeah, you know, Elvis didn't like that. Them hippies. 34:05 A lot of them hanging around laddies. 34:07 Yeah, I don't want to kill that fucking hippie chimpanzee. 34:13 Yeah, but Elvis, we called you, just fucking do it. 34:18 I got one of them hippy ones. It's not what I wanted. 34:22 I want a regulation haircut. 34:23 You're smoking bananas. 34:31 Stop it. 34:33 Swinging around. 34:35 So, Frank, and also in the wild, they occasionally go to war with neighbouring groups. So if you're ever presented with a choice between being thrown to gorillas or chimpanzees, which could well happen if you appear on Sunday brunch again. Perhaps some kind of Bond villain might give you the choice on his island lair. Yeah. You need to choose the gorillas. I love how Jonathan signs off. Best of luck, Frank. 34:59 Oh, nice. Well, that's worth knowing. 35:02 What do you think about that? 35:03 Well, I've heard chimpanzees. I think Bubbles went a bit wild at the end. 35:08 Bubbles is still alive, I believe. 35:10 No, I don't think so. 35:11 I think I read Bubbles was still alive. 35:13 I think it burst. 35:14 Ruth, do you have any info on this? 35:15 43? 43? 35:17 There's an outside world, yeah. Yes. 35:19 What does it say about bubbles? 35:21 Your recent discussion about Coco the Gorilla and Robbie Williams made me wonder about bubbles. Much to my surprise, bubbles is still with us. 35:28 Yeah, I bet they won't be teaching that one any fucking sign language. 35:33 God. 35:37 I'd love to watch the video of that police interview. 35:43 There must have been a Michael has died. 35:46 Oh, yeah, they tell Coco-wise. I mean, a lot of people did enjoy your... Yeah, Coco. 35:50 Coco, mind who? They're very self-centred, the chimpanzees. Ungrateful, very ungrateful, I find them. 36:01 They're narcissists. That's the problem. 36:03 They are. 36:04 But, yeah, well, as you pointed out, a lot of people, we should say as well, agreed with your point, Frank. Why tell her? Why tell her about the test? Exactly. Just don't tell her. It's best that she doesn't know. 36:15 There could have been someone in the other room going, ow, and all that, and she would have thought, oh, good, he's still knocking around. Played records and, you know, leave a glove on the sofa. 36:25 Oh, God. 36:28 No, stop it. Get back to Sunday brunch. 36:33 Oh, gold mug next time. I had to pull someone out of the back for that one. I had to start watching them two crime things with me. 36:45 I feel absolutely ill at the thought of you going on again. 36:50 Well, I might not be asked back. 36:53 It's the Frank Skinner Podcast. 36:58 The new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. 37:05 I'm not totally sure how it's going. 37:09 Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com.